Arrest officials for turning ‘varsity students into sex workers

The court is sitting outside a girls’ hostel in Blantyre, where frantic parents, the judge and Ministry of Education officials have come to assess the situation in the case in which parents and some citizens want education officials, led by their minister, arrested for ‘privatising’ university accommodation and endangering lives of their wards.

Court clerk: Now that we have finally arrived at the hostel. Will the representative of parents of the students come forward to outline their case against the ministry in the presence of judge Mbadwa?

Mr Bokosi: My Lord, we requested the court to sit here for everyone to appreciate what we are complaining about. Look, this minister and most of his grey-haired officials in government, benefited from free and decent education, which meant free ‘hotel standard’ meals and accommodation His Excellency Ngwazi Dr H Kamuzu Banda provided them starting from when the main university campus was at Chichiri to the time it moved to Zomba.

(Parents shout in agreement to Bokosi): Yeesss! Popanda za ulere za Kamuzu anali ndani amenewa!

Judge Mbadwa: Silence! Order! We might be at some hostel in Chatawara, but this is still my court and I will not tolerate any action that undermines my authority. Can one person speak please?

Mr Bokosi: Forgive us My Lord for letting emotions get the better of us. But it shows that this issue is an emotive one. These education officials stopped thinking long time ago! They should not hide under the guise of increasing university intake by decreeing that every student be a self-boarder. Why couldn’t they just build more hostels? No my Lord, they could not build the hostels because they own houses they have now turned into hostels and take-aways to make more money at the expense of our children.

Minister of Education Manuelo Kabiyawano: My Lord, they are insulting us now. I don’t own a hostel, neither do I own a take-away.

Judge Mbadwa: Honourable minister, I have not asked you to rise or is this your way of asking that you be in contempt of court? Proceed Mr Bokosi.

Mr Bokosi: Thank you my Lord. Now for our sons, the situation is dire because you saw for yourself how malnourished they look. They can’t cook; hence they are living on chiwaya and have resorted to illicit cheap alcohol. What kind of education policy aids in developing a stunted nation? What kind of future are we shaping for our country with such students?
Now, you have seen that most of our daughters have been transformed into hookers. Look, this place appears more of a brothel than a hostel. Why are there lots of used condoms at this place? Can someone seriously conduct studies here?  My Lord, do the wrinkle-faced men we found in some of the rooms of the girls look like lecturers or visiting professors to you? I cannot proceed anymore my Lord. I am angry. Ndiphula ngozi pano.

Judge Mbadwa: I will not give the honourable minister, his permanent secretary and the Institute of Higher Learning officials any opportunity to respond because they will not change the defence they gave us in the chamber before the court moved here. We have seen for ourselves that even some regular sex workers the court has freed before on flimsy cases of rogue and vagabond are now staying in hostels such as this one because that is where “business is”.
If the minister and your colleagues cannot provide a conducive environment for our children to excel in studies, resign and let others do that job. You were hired to think on how to improve education standards not to destroy them. If all you can do is feed our children junk food, are you then surprised that your colleges are churning out junk graduates?
I will not hand these officials a custodial sentence, but I hereby order that from next Monday, the minister and his entire team move into these hostels and be subjected to the conditions the students are facing. Let us see whether you will perform at work under such conditions.  From the next academic year, I also order that these hostels be closed forthwith. You have no right for appeal on this case. n