The Carabao Cup and Premier League trophy for the 2018 season have already found their place on the shelves of Etihad Stadium at Manchester City. The rest of the clubs have to fight for the FA Cup while Liverpool still have a shot at the Champions League trophy. This is what makes this…

Dear judge Mbadwa, My Lord, you might have watched us memorising another  ‘midnight six’ debacle through a spate of press conferences by bonafide members of People’s Demagogic Party (PDP),  Friends of Mapuya, the party’s women’s league and the representatives of the politburo. For sure, we were not cartooning ourselves through those hastily arranged press conferences…

  The Malawi national netball team, the Queens, heavy  loss to New Zealand in a warm up match for the Commonwealth Games was the 11th consecutive defeat, the longest run of losses for the nation’s  beloved international soap-opera sports team. But if I said I was surprised with the run of bad results, I would…

Dear judge Mbadwa, When I refused to be intoxicated with excitement over the commissioning of the diesel generators, with its false promise of adding 55 megawatts to the national grid, I was labelled unpatriotic, especially from the blue-half of the political spectrum. Now that the fuel guzzlers are scarcely humming and the duration of being…

Dearest Judge Mbadwa, You have probably heard that Mapuya has been very busy lately; shuttling between markets and forests breaking ground for numerous projects that you want to implement in the few remaining months before the polls or buying bonya, pumpkins and doing some drama with serious sofa makers in the most populous township of…

Judge Mbadwa: Mr Lubwalubwa Banda, everyone is excited by groundbreaking ceremony after groundbreaking ceremony that Mapuya is presiding over, signalling how far the People’s Demagogic Party (PDP) has gone in trying to change the infrastructural landscape of the country. At least that is what PDP fanatics are saying. Why should someone, therefore, want to stop…

Dear judge Mbadwa, My Lord, we are just few days to the month of February and I am worried already. Promises, which are turning into lies, were made last December and even a little earlier that people of Nyasaland, who live in a self-inflicted darkness, will finally see light around this time. My Lord, instead…

Dear judge Mbadwa, We chiefs, who form the native authority in Nyasaland, tired of defending this government on national television, want to put in on record through this petition that we do not agree with everything that puts the establishment in the negative light. We are sure there are opposition plants in Mapuya’s government who…

Dear judge Mbadwa, My Lord, I am writing to you to express my worry at the departure of the head of Kanani Vimbundi merchants otherwise known as Nyasaland Aiding Corruption Bureau (NACB). Why am I moaning his departure and not necessarily mourning over his decision not to renew his licence to head Kanani Vimbundi? My…

Dear Judge Mbadwa, I would rather address your court through this letter than talk to some unkempt journalists about my trip to United Nations General Assembly (Unga) in the United states, the violence at the Khalapadenga ceremony in the Tumbukaland, the alleged vampires looming in the Lhomwe belt and the resultant barbaric curtailing of lives…

(There is commotion in the courtroom as judge Mbadwa enters the courtroom that is in semi-darkness due to power outage. The judge has been asked to read again his determination on whether Escom is right to blame everything on the weatherman) Court Clerk: All rise! His Lordship Mbadwa’s court is now in session! Judge Mbadwa:…