We, Sheikh Jean-Philippe LePoisson, Abiti Joyce Befu, MG 66, Native Authority Mandela and I, left Monkey Bay and followed the presidential campaign to Mzuzu, the capital city of the most ignored region in Malawi. After attending the launch of the PP manifesto in the rain-drenched Mzuzu stadium, we went to check in at Chindele Chakufikapo…

We are in Ntcheu, the land of the Maseko Ngoni, the land of the descendants of a branch of the Zulu armies that conquered weak tribes and kingdoms from the Limpopo to Lake Tanganyika. Someone jokes, rather seriously, that the Ngoni were on their way to conquer Europe, but their wars of occupation and colonisation…

The 2014 presidential election is already rigged. Every honest stakeholder knows this. The Malawi Electoral Commission (MEC) knows this. The Malawi Election Information Centre knows this. The National Democratic Institute knows this. The Institute for Peace and War Reporting knows this. The Commonwealth, AU, SADC, EU and other election observer missions know this. Civil society,…

We are in Ntcheu, the land of the Maseko Ngoni, the land of the descendants of a branch of the Zulu armies that conquered weak tribes and kingdoms from the Limpopo to Lake Tanganyika. Someone jokes, rather seriously, that the Ngoni were on their way to conquer Europe, but their wars of occupation and colonisation…

Malawi is a democratic country that has vowed through its constitution and its ratification of international legal instruments to protect and defend the rights of all its citizens. Since 1994, women and men have been assured equal rights, some in practice; others in theory. Since 1994, the rights of people living with disabilities have been…

It is good we came to Rwanda. At least we, Abiti Joyce Befu, MG 66, Native Authority Mandela and Sheikh Jean-Philippe LePoisson, (Malawian Green Card holder), have seen the difference between a landlocked African country that has decided through its successive leaders to be poor and keep begging for crumbs forever and another landlocked African…

We are in Kigali, Rwanda. We came here courtesy of well-wishers who have paid for everything. For Abiti Joyce Befu, MG 66, our commander-in-chief and leader of our expedition and Native Authority Mandela, it was their first time to be inside an aeroplane. Rwanda is like Malawi. Like Malawi, Rwanda is poor, according to those…

Malawi is dead. Its politicians are dead. Chiefs are dead. Physicians are dead. Academics are dead. Musicians are dead. Dramatists are dead. Ichthyologists are dead. Ecumenists are dead. Promoters of Islamic Ummah are dead. Keepers of the Nyahbinghi Order are dead.  Journalists are dead. Gender activists are dead. We are all dead. We are just…

From Monday to yesterday afternoon, Sheikh Jean-Philippe LePoisson, Native Authority Mandela, Abiti Joyce Befu, and I had a whistle stop tour of Dedza district. We preferred to spend more time in more remote areas than we did in areas closest to Dedza Township. So we went to savour the areas of Traditional Authorities Tambala, Kasumbu,…

Sheikh Jean-Philippe LePoisson Sc., Native Authority Mandela and our leader of delegation, Abiti Joyce Befu, MG 66, are back, literally with their tails between their legs. Despite my protestation, they went to Monkey Bay for what they called the New Year Pork Beach Party. MG 66 directed that they buy enough pork, chapatti and an…

Despite my protestations, we are in Dedza. Our commander-in-chief and leader of delegation, Abiti Joyce Befu, MG 66, directed that we visit and camp in Dedza, the district where the Ngoni and Chewa, Muslim, Christian and animists live and eat together. Dedza was once upon a time a feared district. In the one party era,…

We are leaving Ntcheu this weekend. Our next destination is not known. But as transparent and accountable travellers, we will inform you soonest after Christmas Day—the day when some people enjoy themselves so much that they even forget that whatever was born will die and rise no more. Our leader of delegation and Commander-in-Chief, Abiti…

Karonga is hot but Monkey in the Republic of Mangochi is hotter. The heat reminded me of my boyhood days when we used to joke about a certain disc Jockey (DJ) who would shout ‘the dance is getting hotala and hotala” as the evening of unbridled dance and haram drink consumption reached the crescendo. Monkey…

We are not in the tradition of meddling in party politics, but  our commander-in-chief, Joyce Befu, also known as MG 66, has directed us, her subjects, that is, Sheikh Jean-Philippe LePoisson, Native Authority Mandela and me, to address you, Madame State President on an issue that everybody who cares is talking about and gnaws us.…

We are in Ntcheu, the land of the Maseko Ngoni, the land of the descendants of a branch of the Zulu armies that conquered weak tribes and kingdoms from the Limpopo to Lake Tanganyika. Someone jokes, rather seriously, that the Ngoni were on their way to conquer Europe, but their wars of occupation and colonisation…