Civil service needs urgent overhaul
In Balaka we are because we had to. Balaka is to Malawi’s democracy what ‘Chilazulo’ and Nkhata Bay are to Malawi’s political independence. Balaka is to Malawian political revolution what Chancellor College is to academic freedom. For, it was in Balaka, twenty-one years ago, that the seminal Pastoral Letter that challenged the party of death and darkness was printed.
We are in Balaka to pay homage to the titans of democracy at Andiamo Campus, which is also the Vatican of Malawi’s religio-reggae music. Balaka is a unique district. It is the only district that has produced a woman who was awarded an honorary PhD for being married to the president of this country. Yes, PhD (Honoris Causa) in first-ladyhood!
We will stay in Balaka to savour Balakian hospitality until Abiti Joyce Befu, MG 66, our commander-in-chief and leader of our expedition, decides the way forward. We will be lodged at Kozemberana Lodge, but in the day we will be operating from Chikondichatha Stop Over, where all sensible motorists stop to refresh themselves. Today, Saturday, we are here, seated in one of the summer huts facing the Zomba-Lilongwe Highway. We are lazily taking fantakoko, Liwonde Light Gin on the rocks, cerveja da Angonia and fried chicken, liver, nthumbwana and other zamkati. Our task today is to help the police recover our stolen cash by identifying car-boots and tyres likely to contain bricks of ‘aloe veras’.
“And how will you know which car-boot has the stolen cash?” MG 66 asked.
“We will be reading the faces of all motorists who park here?” Native Authority Mandela said.
“You mean you can identify a thief by simply looking at people’s faces?” MG 66 inquired further.
“A thief will always fix his/her eyes on the loot vault,” Native Authority Mandela explained.
“Where did you learn that?” Sheikh Jean-Philippe LePoisson Sc wondered.
“Experience is the best university!” Native Authority Mandela answered sharply.
A beep on Sheikh Jean-Philippe’s Zamzungu phone interrupted our conversation. He pulled it out from his back pocket and checked.
“Who is it?”MG 66 asked.
“Messages. The first one says, ‘Yes, bring back the Forfeiture Act. It’s the only way people can account for their property’. The second says, ‘Bringing back the Forfeiture Act will entail changing the republican constitution. Try the Chinese method.’”
“Chinese method?” Sheikh Jean-Philippe asked.
“Execution without trial,” I said.
“Another message,” Sheikh Jean-Philippe jumped in.
“Go ahead! “MG 66 urged.
“It says, ‘I write to defend President Joyce Banda. I find those who have called for her resignation immature, irresponsible, illogical and disingenuous. JB quits and the cash issue is resolved. Civil or public servants stole the money, but the failed politicians find JB guilty and sentence her to resignation. Instead of calling for the arrest and punishment of the thieves, some disgruntled, clout-less, power-hungry and agenda-less politicians want H.E. to go. Some of us were born at night, but it was not last night. Those who want Joyce Banda to go might be beneficiaries of the cash theft and want the investigations to stop before their names are mentioned… JB Supporter’.”
“Does JB Supporter understand that the President is also to blame for the cash theft?” MG 66 wondered.
“How?” Sheikh Jean-Philippe asked.
“Why did she decide to work with the very senior civil servants who emptied state coffers during Bingu wa Mutharika’s last years?”
“We need to urgently overhaul the civil service. Professionalise it. Motivate it. Equip it. Hire people who are committed to national dreams. Use public hearings to hire senior civil servants. Changing the Cabinet will not stop the loot. Rotating senior civil servants will not help, either. We need a change in systems and in our work ethos. Above all, we need to interrogate our national psyche. Just who are we? Proud thieves?” Native Authority Mandela questioned.
