A club of old guards hates change

Dear judge Mbadwa,

My Lord, you might have watched us memorising another  ‘midnight six’ debacle through a spate of press conferences by bonafide members of People’s Demagogic Party (PDP),  Friends of Mapuya, the party’s women’s league and the representatives of the politburo.

For sure, we were not cartooning ourselves through those hastily arranged press conferences as our detractors would want people to believe.

Let it be on record that it is in our party’s DNA to hold hurriedly arranged press conferences every time the survival of the PDP is threatened by winds of change.

My Lord, Mulamu Tally-Star Chazizira has indeed sown seeds of subversion in the party with her Mulamu wakalamba (My-in-law has grown too old to govern) remarks; hence, we cannot sit down and watch our integrity being questioned like that.

I, Gadall Gando, therefore, and fellow veterans in PDP, the likes of Jolijo Chadyaka, want to categorically defend our right and that of Mapuya, to growing grey hair and having wrinkled faces while governing.

Why should Mapuya be denied the right to govern? Why should our political careers be curtailed by those agitating for new blood? My Lord, as long as Mapuya is a leader of the party, no member is allowed to have ambitions to govern it. It is sacrilege to challenge his authority.

My Lord, Nyasas should know that PDP is a club of old men and women and they should live with that fact as long as they vote us into power.

We incorporate young people for public relations purposes and that should explain why Sauli Cloud has been reduced to a mourner-in chief, visiting victims of natural disasters and consoling families that lose relations in such disasters.

Do you really think PDP takes Sauli seriously?  My Lord, a baby who is an outsider and was brought in to woo young voters, has no future in our old guard club.

We will not apologise for referring to Sauli as a baby although on paper he appears to be second- in-command.

My Lord, Nyasaland needs old guards like us to conceive incomprehensible responses on the K4 billion which we had planned to be shared among members of Parliament (MPs) who toed the DPP line during Electoral Reforms Bills debate.

My Lord, you need old guards like us to run down an economy and to oversee growing levels of corruption and to erect more foundation stones without doing the actual work.

My Lord, this baby would embarrass many people with what he has already started; asking contractors to redo a work which Mapuya would have happily celebrated about. Doesn’t the case of dykes in the Lower States ring a bell to you?

This club of old guards is neither democratic nor progressive; therefore, forget about us changing the status quo.

This is a party of old guards, founded by old guards and run by grey-haired men.

My Lord, we have been insulted left, right and centre by young men and we ask your court to ensure that our right to sleep and snore on our jobs is protected.

Yours,

Minister Gadall Gando.