Declare poll results fake news

Honourable judge Mbadwa,

It is an insult of the highest order for the Afro-thermometer survey or whatever they call it to rate Amayi’s party at a paltry 7 percent if people were to vote for the candidate of the orange party today.

My Lord, as the interim president of the party in the absence of Amayi, I, Chinja Goalpost, I am writing you because we want your court to rule that the Afro-thermometer poll is invalid because it has given the People’s Demagogic Party (PDP) folder to laugh at Amayi.

Already, the critics are saying Amayi ransomed the party when she decided to decamp to United States.

But you are very much aware, My Lord, that she did not run away from some crime as the PDP wants us to believe.

She is busy addressing the world on how to govern a country without going to polls and how to lose an election as an incumbent.

Amayi is a global figure of repute and is a defacto tourism ambassador for Nyasaland, but the 7 percent rating from Afro-thermometer is an embarrassment that we cannot accept.

Amayi was contemplating of coming back home soon but with the poor popularity rating, where would she get the courage to come?

In fact, the poor rating belies the popularity that Amayi commands and does not recognise the rebuilding work that I have spearheaded in her absence.

Now My Lord, the survey says the majority of people think that the country is heading in the wrong direction; don’t you think that this is an indictment on Mapuya who ruled the country before Amayi?

No My Lord, declare the survey fake news so that Amayi can return home instead of glorying in being leader of a local party who is headquartered in Washington or New York.

By declaring the survey fake news you will not only save us the Orange Party from embarrassment but also the PDP  which has so far demonstrated that it can’t take criticism lightly and doesn’t want to play second fiddle to Lazaro’s Male Chauvinistic Pigs.

You might have noticed already that the PDP’s reception of the results has been lukewarm.

 Mapuya, too, would breath easily if you declare the survey results fake otherwise the deafening silence from the PDP camp is unsettling even us in Orange Party.

Thanks in anticipation,                         

Chanji Goalpost.

 

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