For once, thank your barber

Good people, barbing is a thankless job. Barbers do more than just slashing your thatch.

The hair stylists handle heads of varying shapes and sizes, straightening not-so-straight skulls and making shabby ones look kempt.

Their prescribed haircuts sometimes make dunderheads look wise, the old appear younger and passive brains seem sharper.

Theirs is not the art of deception though.

They beautify people and some smile all the way to public events where they are least identified, applauded for their ineptitude but their stunning looks.

A barber’s handicraft distinguishes even presidents of questionable mental stability.

Think about United States president Donald Trump, the self-styled stable genius whose carefully trimmed thatch would never be mistaken for that of any of his 44 predecessors if he was stuck in the thick of humanity.

This is what a haircut can do to politicians without much to distinguish them.

A distinct haircut is to a crowd puller what a logo is to a business firm determined to portray a unique identity in a race for clients’ attention.

Call it branding. Artists call it swag. It is their identity and what people say about them because the first impression is almost everything.

This is why rapper Tay Grin and his afro-pop contemporary Dan Lu will stop at nothing when it comes to hairdos.

Celebrities will leave nothing to chance—re-inventing mo-hawks retired English soccer star David Beckham clichéd as early as the 2002  Fifa World Cup in Korea and Japan when a fluent Brazilian side wowed with their explosive destroyers at play in three Rs: Rivaldo, Ronaldo and Ronaldinho.

Talking about hairdos, some Malawians cannot wait to see Tay Grin stand shoulder to shoulder with President Peter Mutharika whose barber deserves more thanks for giving him a somewhat youthful look.

Ambatiyimilirambo mbuya!

It is reported that  musician Tay Grin is vying to become Mutharika’s deputy in the Centre.

Politics is a game of numbers—the number of votes one brings, not the count of haircuts one sports per year.

The major curse of Malawi’s democracy is not the inundation of artists in politics, but that most of them join ‘the dirty game’ to flaunt their haircuts instead of the brain power beneath their hairdo.

Any political party can grab an artist to tout its agenda and garner votes, but Malawians ought to be more serious when electing their leaders.

Ignore the fame and dime, playing some music plus changing haircuts is not equal to the leadership Malawians deserve.

Talking about hair art, the President’s barber deserves more credit for trimming the near-octogenarian’s age to a teen-ish something.

The 79-year-old looks much younger than he really is.

Proponents of former first lady Callista Mutharika’s assertion that he is too old to seek re-election sometime last week were taken aback by his way of showing he is actually too young to handover to youthful Vice-President Saulos Chilima.

From out of the blue, the President challenged his critics by throwing his head into a court of public opinion, asking: “Does my hair look grey? Do I look too old to keep ruling?”

One’s grey hair does not say anything about age and its numbing effect.

Anyone with money can pay a barber and buy chemicals to conceal hairy signs of the times.

Some Don Dada in this country has more grey hair than any Mutharika in power, yet he is much younger and more energetic. In fact, he still plays football with the get-up-and-go that earned him the captain’s armband of University of Malawi Football Club (UFC) in the Super League.

Just thank your barber.n

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