Letter from a teen girl
Dear parents/guardians,
Have you ever pondered why every time your child gets into trouble you instantly blame it on their company? You have sturdy beliefs that as long as your child is in trouble, he/she has been with the wrong crowd. Usually, that is actually the case, but such situations can easily be avoided.
One thing I have learnt as a teen living in a Malawian home is that parents never really inquire about who our friends are. They simply want your friends to be of the same sex as you. If your child has friends of the opposite sex that you are unsure of, the best solution is to get to know them, invite them over and assess them. Get to know whether they are suitable companions.
Organise a little lunch or dinner where you ask your children to invite their friends and you get to know them and their families.
Give your children the freedom to make their own friends. Never pick friends for your child. Do, however, let them demonstrate to you that they are responsible enough to hang around the right crowd. You would be surprised how even the smallest bit of responsibility can change your child.
You also need to allow your child to spend time with their friends. I understand parents mean well and restrict children from friends sometimes because they fear the worst. But do you really expect your child to spend every waking minute with you? Your child will not always be with you. If you restrict them so much, they will jump at every opportunity of freedom and make the wrong decisions. Thus you will most definitely have a problem teen.
Let your child understand that with this freedom comes responsibility. Also, while you still have the liberty to say no to your child meeting his or her friends, provide them with a tangible reason. Make sure they understand why. Also make sure that as much as freedom is there, you still have control of the reigns.
Anonymous teen
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