I am in a big fix. You may call it a dilemma.
I am using the whole energy in me to share this because it is something I am ashamed to talk about, but I decided to let it out having read the matured way you have handled issues here before.
I met my husband a couple of years ago and started seeing him, but close to our wedding day, his brother returned from the UK and I was shocked to find out he was an old school-mate, whom we once made out together.
We lost contact after school and did not know he had gone ahead to marry a white woman to get his papers. The marriage had hit the rocks by the time he returned, after his studies. I have done everything to avoid him and behave as if there was no past between us, but my greatest issue at the moment is that my husband has allowed him into our home to live with us.
Initially, it was meant to be two weeks, but he is a job-seeker, and now two weeks have turned into a year.
Biggie, hear me out. I am only human. I, gradually, lost my guards because of my husband’s frequent trips, which leave me alone with his brother. I must confess, at first it was just a kiss, then we kissed again a couple of times and went the whole way. I have realised I still love him. Something in me doesn’t feel right, but I am becoming helpless. Please what can I do?
When I tell my-in-law that I have had enough of this infidelity, he threatens that he will tell his brother. You got it right, he blackmails me to continue warming his bed.
Please help me
NM, via e-mail, Blantyre.
I have seen the world, dear double-crosser, but of all things, I can never, ever share the goods with any of my bedfellows’ sister. That is sacrilege, you should know.
You sowed the wind, now you should not be surprised that you will have to harvest a tsunami!
Given the chance to call you the best of names, you sit for an ungrateful betrayer who can commit murder any moment from now. You seem so attached to your husband that you are afraid of losing him. So, how best would you keep your dirty secret from him apart from shutting up his brother for good?
When I was growing up, my grandmother used to tell me by the fireside that if I were to do anything, I must do it right first time. You did everything wrong the first time you chose to let two brothers drink from your well.
You do not tell me who you first slept with, the hubby or his brother? Either way, you are in a tight-spot, a quagmire, as the one in the wrong. If you first slept with the brother and dumped him to marry his sibling and he is continuing munching your goods, you are in the wrong for fearing he will report you. In that case, you continue to swim in the unpleasant pleasure of adultery.
On the other hand, if you two started sharing the fruit after you were married, you know that is the only reason divorce is accepted in many religious denominations. Like Goliath, who for 40 days scorned and cursed the children and their God, time is coming when your hubby will discover your bad deeds.
You know, I always try as much as possible to give counsel found in religious books, but for this once, I will tell you what the Bible says about your sort. Leviticus 20:10 says: “If a man commits adultery with the wife of his brother, both the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.” When a woman is caught committing adultery, the Mosaic Law says, the woman should be stoned to death. That is for you to see the gravity of your crimes!
Verse 21 of that chapter even puts a curse: “If a man takes his brother’s wife, it is impurity. He has uncovered his brother’s nakedness; they shall be childless.”
Being a social animal, if you ask me what to do, I will tell you one thing: Deny the brother the diamonds and see if he will carry out his threats! If he carries out his threat, your brother will be on your neck for being a murderous betrayer who obligingly gave his brother a leg. If you choose to pour your heart to your husband first, you also know what happens next, if your husband has a hard heart like mine!
What has been done cannot be done NM, reckon that.