When love hurts, leave

What happens when you are hurt by the one you love? Women have many questions about their relationship and are discouraged by the lack of support and information they receive from family and friends.

Many times when women try to seek advice from family and friends about an abusive partner the response and advice from them is usually one that only end up confusing the woman even more.

In a society like Malawi where getting married or being in relationship is perceived as an utmost goal and greatest achievement for a woman, making a decision to leave an abusive relationship becomes even harder, especially when the woman knows that she will be ridiculed and called a failure for leaving her man.

So, she hangs on because she is afraid of the world that will reject her for making a decision to leave an abusive relationship. Usually, the result is bodily harm and in the worst scenarios, death.

On the flip side, there are men who are also living in abusive marriages and relationships but feel powerless to call it quits because these men were brought up and live in a society that expect them not show their feelings because doing so is a sign of  weakness.

Two incidents in the past week had me in tears. A woman has been killed by someone she loved and one has been battered by her husband. These are just but a few of many such cases that have been reported, but there are many other cases that go unreported.

No one expects to be hurt by someone they love. However, sometimes there are tell-tale signs that a partner is abusive and even worse that a partner can kill. When it comes to that, love shouldn’t blind you, open your eyes and leave before you get hurt.

To family and friends, the best you can do in such situations is to offer a shoulder to cry on and not to confuse the victim of abuse by making them feel like they deserve the abuse. There is nothing that justifies violence towards your partner.

It hurts to wake up to news of a woman who has lost a limb, has been disfigured and even killed because of love. It hurts even more when some misguided people try so hard to justify the abuse.

Love shouldn’t hurt, if does, don’t hesitate to leave before you lose your life. Your life is more precious than love itself.

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