No chatter boxes. Just misunderstood

Many times, women are referred to as chatter boxes.  They are also deemed problematic in relationships in the sense that their sharp tongues drive their partners away or cause frictions. The man is often portrayed as the victims of what has largely been termed as women’s verbal diarrhoea or yapping. This often results in constant bickering. Naturally, women are said to be generous with words when talking, so much so that there is sometimes no hesitation in bringing issues dating back to 10 years ago when dealing with matters arising. Even the Bible describes a nagging wife like water going drip-drip-drip on a rainy day. (Proverbs 27:15).

Perhaps the initial objective for a conversation by women is never to nag. The process may degenerate into nagging from various reasons such as the lack of attention, cold or no responses at all from the person they are addressing. As a result, anger or frustration may set in, rendering all communication prospects almost impossible. The result can be disastrous to any relationship.

But reading Inkosi Chimalizeni’s Family Values on Page 5 titled, Are you talking to or with your spouse? sheds some light on why such trends may be highly misunderstood.

Says Chimalizeni: “Women by nature love to share full details of whatever they’re talking about. Men on the other hand prefer to share just a summary of the fact. Also, while women are inclined to talk about how they feel about an issue, men by nature will most likely say only what they think and nothing more.”

If, perhaps the above statement was understood by both parties, the rate of exaggeration about women’s talkativeness, nagging or intolerance would be averted. Couples are perpetually at war with accusations flying around that one’s peace is compromised from the partner’s loudness while the other party complains about being ignored. However, it is all in our nature to act the way that we do.

Looking on the bright side, letting things off the chest in the manner that women do may actually be beneficial to health resulting in longer life. Men, on the other hand are statistically doomed to shorter life, partly because of holding things in.

The moral of all this is that while we should attempt to understand each other, both parties must also learn to meet the other half way. Both must learn to communicate effectively and pay attention to one another. The loud ones must try to assess best times when their partners are likely to pay attention and address matters maturely. The reserved ones must understand that relationships and communication are synonymous, therefore, must learn to air out emotions-negative or positive for their growth. n

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