Six months before elections: only PPM ready to govern

We are back at Nankhoma Lodge, Ntcheu, doing what we do best: eat, drink, dance and talk. The receptionist, Nasimoko, asked us as soon as we checked in where we had been. Native Authority Mandela explained to her that we had gone to attend Nelson Mandela’s memorial ceremony in Johannesburg, South Africa and that, in our capacity as SADC senior citizens and out of obligation,  we also had to fly to Nairobi, Kenya to attend that country’s 50th Anniversary of Independence.  In Johannesburg, Native Authority Mandela continued, we saw President Joyce Banda shaking hands with President Obama and witnessed the first handshake between a Cuban leader and a president of the United States of America in over fifty years.

In death as well as in life Mandela made the lion and the lamb sleep in one bed. Although he did not go to church as frequently as many would have wished, and thus called him an atheist, Mandela did what Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Jews, Rastas, and animists should have been doing. Mandela preached peace and love, talked peace and love, lived peace and love, and acted peace and love. He posed for photographs with the rich and powerful as well the poor and powerless. He kissed children with disabilities with as much intensity as he kissed children without disabilities. Unlike some presidents, dead and alive, Mandela forgave his political enemies and competitors. He forgave, although he did not forget. He forgave Ronald Reagan for siding with the apartheid government. He forgave Margret Thatcher for calling him and the Umkonto we Sizwe terrorists.

Mandela’s sayings have become proverbial. “Education”, he is quoted as saying, “is the most powerful weapon you can use to change the world.”   But, the most powerful saying is that “poverty is not an accident.”

“He said that?” Mbandambanda, our resident Ntcheu entertainment-mate said as we sat down at the bar and recounted our journey to and sojourn in Egoli, the City of Gold.

“He did,” Abiti Joyce Befu, MG 66, our commander-in-chief and leader of delegation answered.

“So, poverty is self-inflicted?”Mbandambanda asked and placed his right index finger on his mouth.

“Economist Amatrya Sen, once produced a model that indicated that famine is caused more by  poor planning, lack of foresight and plain foolishness, than by natural disasters,!” I said.

“Mandela said famine is a result of foolishness?”Mbandambanda asked, rather confused.

“No. What Nelson Mandela said about poverty is similar to what Sen said about famine. Our own people, Malawians, say it is only a foolish family or nation that suffers thirst while swimming in a fresh water lake or river.

“Look,” Native Authority Mandela said, “rain is water. Why should you cry for rain when you already have water? In Malawi, we see what irrigation does to sugarcane at Dwangwa, Nchalo and elsewhere, but we still want rain to cultivate maize. We even pray to God to give us rain as if rain is Amalaula!”

“Politicians without vision!” Mbandambanda said, “I have been listening to political campaigns. So far, the so-called major parties have nothing to offer. Nothing.”

“Did you say, nothing?” Sheikh Jean-Philippe Lepoisson asked, mockingly.

“Zero”, said Mbandambanda before opening his verbal vault. “Until today the UDF is busy looking for ideas for its Agenda for Change. The DPP is busy talking about replicating what Bingu wa Mutharika did as president. The MCP has nothing to talk about except to remind us that the MCP produced President Kamuzu Banda and that Lazarus Chakwera and his 120 member National Executive Committee are new and not politically dirty. Good riddance is a phrase that is used liberally even when senior members leave the party. In fact, the party new slogan should read:  MCP, a party without a vision!”

“And the People’s Party?” Sheikh Jean-Philippe asked.

“The People’s Party has spent close to K500 million laying foundation stones. That money would have been enough to build a clinic somewhere in Chipaika or Chowe in Mangochi.”

“So all is lost?” MG 66 asked.

“No. Umodzi Party says it will reintroduce feudalism and build 50 universities!”

“What? 50 universities?” Sheikh Jean-Philippe asked and laughed like a Muslim who has just tasted pork.

“Well? The PPM is, to me, the only party that is ready to govern. It says, when it assumes power it will decentralize most processes. Account Number, the Cashgate Account, will not be there as every district will get its own funds to run its affairs. The constitution will be reviewed so that elected leaders are answerable to voters. Isn’t that beautiful?”

“And where will the districts get their money from?” MG 66 asked.