Teacher Mpamire creates own history in Malawi

Despite appearing on the Malawi stage with his comedy for the first time, Ugandan humourist Teacher Mpamire overcame expectations from a near-packed College of Medicine Sports Complex hall on Fridayevening to deliver a stunning performance.

The event, which also featured his compatriot Annie Kansiime and her creative manager Cotilda Inapo, climaxed an eventful day for the history teacher at Standardised School Zana.

Real name Herbert Mendo Ssegujja, Mpamire planted two trees at Chimwankhunda Community Day Secondary School to inculcate in students a culture of protecting the environment whose destruction is the genesis of climate change-related problems.

Launching on stage at 20:42, having taken over from Cotilda—whose introductory performance included a dance to Lawi’s Amaona Kuchedwa—Teacher Mpamire wasted no time to get into business.

Clad in a yellow shirt and his trademark checked suit and carrying his checked briefcase, the comedian started by taking a roll call of his ‘students’, promising to kick out those that had not paid their school fees in full.

“Chikondi Banda from Ndirande,” he started, sending the audience into cracks of laughter. “Yohane Chirwa from Mbayani…” And when the audience thought he had exhausted the list of students, he called out: “Bakili Buluzi…”

He delved into politics, starting with his own country where he said President Yoweri Museveni has over 100 advisers, but none of them has advised him. Instead, he is the one that advises them.

That took him into the Malawian situation where he joked that the Malawi Police Service (MPS) has transformed from maintaining law and order to being ordered to act on issues.

This was an indirect reference to how President Peter Mutharika ordered the MPS to arrest Eric Aniva—the Nsanje traditional ritualist who has come to be referred to as the Nsanje hyena—after he told the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) that despite living with HIV, he has slept with scores of women and girls in a cleansing exercise.

Teacher Mpamire also joked about the country’s incessant power outages, saying the Electricity Supply Corporation of Malawi (Escom) should not take wholesome blame for the situation, saying everybody was contributing towards it.

Earlier in the day, he joked that some of the problems the country is facing are a result of departure from respecting gods that provided what people prayed for, among them Mbona.

He signed out his act by asking his students to draw the map of Malawi and locate Cashgate, which mirrors how some civil servants systematically connived with some companies to issue payments for services that were not rendered.

As he left the stage, leaving back an envelope full of candles, he announced that his name had changed to Mavuto Mpamire Fisi, drawing laughter from the audience.

Cotilda took over from him, delivering a performance that prepared the audience for Annie Kansiime, the queen of comedy.

True to what she declared at a press briefing in the morning that she is not in the habit of repeating content, she joked about current issues in the country.

Among others, she joked about the “Coca-Cola bottle” in reference to a video that went viral on the social media depicting a woman using a Coca-Cola bottle as a sex object.

After a short break that was cushioned by another performance by Cotilda, Kansiime—clad in all-white apparel—joined Teacher Mpamire for a collaboration which MultiChoice Malawi sales and marketing manager Chimwemwe Nyirenda said they had not rehearsed.

The two were later joined by Cotilda for a dance that proved that Kansiime was not just good at cracking jokes, but dancing and singing as well.

The only low on the performances was the venue’s sound system which meant those at the back did not get the jokes audibly enough and its flat nature which meant those far from the stage did not get a clearer view.

In an interview later, the three said they were happy to perform in the country.