The ‘cold weather’ Coordinators

Like June, July is cruel to people in Malawi, especially those that sleep alone.

Someone described cold days as chilangambeta. That is not true because not all unmarried people sleep alone. And so true it is that not all married people sleep at home with their spouses.

Chief Kazingist has evidence that the only time many men sleep with members of the opposite sex is when they are with coordinators. This is because when they are in their matrimonial houses, they sleep alone in their beds.

Women are the ones that do not like this style, but are too afraid to speak out. As a result, they decide to share beds with their youngest children.

For many men, there is no warmth in their homes but at coordinators’ pads. That is why the conversation at some entertainment joint in Bangwe, Blantyre, was interesting.

Chief Kazingist went to the place to meet a police officer friend. They had not met for a long time because the police officer was out of Blantyre. It was, therefore, interesting for Kazingist to receive an invitation on a day his pockets were dry.

“I know that you do not have money. Just come here because I am in the mood of poverty alleviation,” the police officer friend told the chief man of the skirt.

When he arrived at the joint, Chief Kazingist was surprised that his friend was not there.

“The impression you gave me was that you were already at the joint, but I do not see you anywhere here,” Chief Kazingist told his friend on the phone.

“I am on my way, just wait. I wanted you to hurry up because you are fond of coming late to places like these,” replied the friend.

The chief man of the skirt had no choice but to wait for the ‘benefactor’. He had not taken beer for some time and it would be foolish to miss the chance.

At the far corner of the bar, there were chairs and Chief Kazingist went to sit there as he waited for his friend.

Two men were already at the place chatting over a beer. The discussion centred on the cold weather.

“Honestly, these two months have been very cold. The one who is on duty in heaven must be very serious,” said one man.

“I am also experiencing the same. The problem in this country is that the cold season takes three months. That means we are going to have three tough months,” replied the other.

“But there is a solution to this; there are so many coordinators hunting for men. In this lean period they have drastically reduced prices so that they can at least put food on their table,” said the other man.

“You are right, but we are all married and our wives would need that warmth as well,” reminded his friend.

“My wife shares the bed with our third and last child and I sleep in my own bed. You should also know that as time goes, your wife becomes your sister. I do not have any appetite for her,” replied the other.

Just then, a seductively dressed coordinator entered the room. She looked at the two men with a deceitful smile.

“Look at the legs and the smile. Do you think one can resist? I am calling her immediately,” said the man.

“But your wife looks much better than that coordinator,” the other man said.

“She may be better, but she is old-fashioned. Times have changed as everything has gone digital these days,” replied the other