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Tifiness not coming

Nsanje Lalanje at Balaka Chibuku Tavern yesterday convened to discuss reports that Tifiness is not coming back. The reason she gave was that Chief Kazingist has not provided accommodation for her.

For those who do not know, Tifiness was the leader of Nsanje Lalanje at Balaka Chibuku Tavern. Last year, she lost the leadership to Chief Kazingist and, probably embarrassed, left the constituency.

While abroad, she has been meeting her loyal members, but whatever they were discussing was unknown. Recently, she announced that she was coming back and everyone was excited about it.

But suddenly, she changed her mind and told her loyal members that she would not come because there was no accommodation for her.

The news prompted Nsanje Lalanje at Balaka Chibuku Tavern to call for an emergency meeting. Leader of the house Mtenje, Botomani from Mchinji, Ngoma from Ntchisi, Chinyozi from Zomba, Benja from Mwanza, Chikoja from Dedza and Kalawa from Mzuzu were present. As usual, Amayi Chekani was happy to make some little money.

As per protocol, each member took a packet of Chibuku to activate their brains. After everyone finished, Mtenje set the ball rolling.

“What has prompted this emergency meeting is the continued saga of Tifiness. We have just received communication that she is not coming because Chief Kazingist has not provided a house for her,” said Mtenje.

But before the chief man of the skirt could speak, controversial Ngoma stood on point of order. He wondered whether the reason Tifiness gave was valid enough.

“It seems she does not know how to lie; otherwise, what she is saying is cheap. Is it true that she does not have a house to live in?” Asked Ngoma.

Mchinji-based Botomani agreed with Ngoma. He asked where she was staying before becoming leader of Nsanje Lalanje at Balaka Chibuku Tavern.

“We were told that she has houses in all the three regions of the country. Are those houses full? Surely she should learn not to take people for granted,” said Botomani.

Chinyozi suggested that there could be some reasons that were forcing her not to come back and that the house issue was only a scapegoat.

“Tifiness’s followers claim that her life is in danger because some people affiliated to Chief Kazingist want to disgrace her. He followers say if her enemies will spare her life, then she would be sent to jail,” said Chinyozi.

But Ngoma dismissed the claim.

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