UK assures Malawi of continued relations
British High Commissioner to Malawi Michael Nevin yesterday assured Malawi that his country’s leaving the European Union will not affect the two country’s bilateral relations.
Said Nevin: “The UK has a strong bilateral relationship with Malawi over a long history. I have spoken to Foreign Minister Hon Francis Kasaila and reassured him that our strong bilateral relationship will continue and hopefully strengthen further. We will continue to work alongside our partners in support of Malawi’s prosperity and security, to the mutual benefit of all.”
Nevin said in holding a referendum on the UK’s membership of the European Union, the UK has delivered perhaps the biggest democratic exercise in history. It underlines our credentials as a committed parliamentary democracy where we resolve major issues about our future through peaceful debate.
“As the Prime Minister David Cameron] has stated, the British people have voted to leave the European Union and their will must be respected. We must now prepare for a negotiation with the European Union. Article 50 of the Treaty on European Union will first need to be triggered by the UK to start the formal and legal process of leaving the EU, which then has up to two years to complete. There will be no initial change in the way people can travel, in the way goods can move or the way services can be sold.
“We are confident of finding the best way for the UK. We are a great trading nation, a multi-racial, multi-faith democracy, with our economy, our ideas and values, our science and arts, our engineering and our creativity respected the world over. The UK will remain a big player on the global stage. We are a permanent United Nations Security Council member, a leading member of NATO [North Atlantic Treaty Organisation], the G7 and G20.
“We are the only country to meet commitments both to two percent of GDP on defence spending and 0.7 percent of GNI on development assistance, keeping our promises to the poorest people in the world. We remain the 5th largest economy globally and Britain’s economy is fundamentally strong,” he said. n
M Sizini2 hours 52 minutes ago
Well, the English have certainly shot themselves in their collective foot this time! When we get over the schadenfreude, we must ask ourselves what we can do to help these neighbors of our Scottish friends.
Perhaps we can increase our imports of their produce. What is their greatest product? Anyone who has visited an English city can answer that one – old fat people.
England produces millions of old fat people who need to be looked after by kindhearted Commonwealth citizens. This is because the English are too busy making money for themselves to be able to care for their elderly relatives (who will henceforth be referred to as ‘the burden’).
Now that the English have chosen to reposition their economy in the center of tornado alley, they will have even less inclination and fewer resources to support their burden.
Let Malawi become their saviours. Many of us have had extensive experience of wiping old fat bottoms in England. This is the very experience that will enable us to develop our economy and help the English at the same time. We must invite the English to invest in the construction of luxurious old fat people’s ‘Sheltered’ Accommodation – Old Folks’ Homes.
Once they have been constructed, the English will be able to export their burden to us. Those of us with experience of living in England will be able to set up private old fat bottom-wiping schools and courses; our farmers will be able to charge international prices for their produce; and the fat old English people will be able to spend their pensions in Malawi, thus injecting much-needed capital into our economy. Nobody will lose. Even if the project collapses, we will still have plenty of luxurious accommodation to share among our prominent politicians and business people.
Finally, the social benefits must be obvious to all. Think of all those old fat Sugar Daddies and Sugar Mommas. Our streets, hotels and bars will be swept clean of ‘ahule’, toy-boys, and rent-boys as these unfortunates rush off to service their new clients in our network of old fat people’s homes.
This is how we can pay back the English for the help they have given us in the past. Let us resolve to make their declining years memorable. Thanks their Brexit choice, they can expect many years of decline.