Family

When raising your relation’s child…

Appreciate the people taking care of your child
Appreciate the people taking care of your child

It is common for families to take care of a child that is a relation. It is a good idea as it cements the relationship with extended families and also it is one way of ensuring that the child accesses education and other basic needs that its biological family is unable to provide.

But sometimes families fear to take care of a child from an extended family for fear of being misinterpreted if they instill discipline and other values the same way they do with their biological children.

Pastor Constance Masamba, a  family counsellor at Family Clinic says there are a few things that should be considered when you are raising or thinking of keeping your relation’s child. Masamba says some of the issues are to do with behaviour, respect and other aspects of life.

“It’s very important that you know beforehand the behaviour of the child you want. Know if the child is rude, arrogant or lazy and look for proper measures that can help you correct that behaviour. Try to ask for the background of that behaviour from the biological parents,” she says.

Simplex Chithyola is executive director and a child rights activist at Chinansi Foundation in Balaka. Chithyola says the person keeping the child should not be scared of disciplining the child when the need arises.

“It’s the responsibility of the one who is keeping the child to look at how he can monitor and shape the life of that child. From time immemorial, in an African setting, people believe in extended families.

“Children look up to parents’ relatives that can contribute towards their education and economic life. It’s a priviledge. Therefore, parents of such children should not feel that their children are being mistreated,” he advises.

Don’t parents or guardians of the child that is to be raised by a kind family not be cautious of the behaviour of the ‘Good Samaritan’?

Miriam Mdumula, who lives in Chilinde, Lilongwe, is a mother of two who keeps her elder sister’s son since the boy was two years old. The boy is in Standard Seven.

“It’s very important that you know the people taking care of your child. You need to know if they will provide a safe and nurturing environment. You need to tell them what is expected of them,” says Mdumula.

As a caregiver, should you expect any support from the parents or guardians of the child? Or is it your sole responsibility to raise that child?

Thomas Moyo, programme coordinator for Every Child Malawi in Dowa says the caretaker should expect support from the parents of the child.

“Parents being duty-bearers are supposed to take care of their children and not just leave their responsibilities to others. Children need the love and care of their biological parents unless it is in the best interest of children to live with relatives. Not many people would take this extra responsibility.

“However, whether it’s an aunt, brother, cousin or your own mother that you are taking care of, remember to them the same way you do with any member of the family,” he advises.

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