Why low enrolment in Mangochi, Machinga?

The blackout took the management of Zimatherapano unawares. The manager came and apologised to us, his customers, for keeping us in darkness. He regretted that he had taken Escom’s promise that after the rehabilitation or upgrading or both, blackouts would be a thing of the Mutharika era. My proposal for us to leave the place and go out to another drinking and entertainment joint was overwhelmingly rejected. So we sat there, in Adam-and-Eve era darkness which was only punctuated by candlelight.

We, and other customers, adamantly waited for the Black Missionary School Band to play while drinking fantakoko. Abiti Joyce Befu, also known here as MG 66, insisted that as far as she was concerned power would not come until after mid night.

“Well. We will wait until midnight as long as the band is here,” Sheikh Jean-Philippe LePoisson said.

“That is being sadomasochist!” I exclaimed.

“Can you communicate your idea without emotion?” Sheikh Jean-Philippe pleaded.

“Why are we inflicting unnecessary pain on ourselves?”

“What pain?”MG 66 asked, “I thought we agreed that tonight would separate boys from men and women from girls.”

“But what sense does it make to sit here, phwiii, drinking fantakoko and waiting for a band that might not even play? Let’s move on to Mangochi Boma. We can stop at Pambiche for a drink!” I said.

“Pambiche. I have never heard about that place!” Sheikh Jean-Philippe asked.

“Pambiche is Palm Beach Hotel or Resort located at the mouth of the mighty River Shire,” Native Authority Mandela explained.

“I would rather go straight to By the River,” MG 66 said, “At least I can have fun there!”

“What if we ask the Native Authority to decide whether we leave or stay?”Sheikh Jean-Philippe proposed.

“Let’s wait a bit. Power might come and the band, resilient as usual, will play. I want to hear Mr School singing his Mbumba ya Amulamu hit,” Native Authority Mandela said to the satisfaction of MG 66 and Sheikh Jean-Philippe.

Since the majority had voted to stay, I agreed to also stay because democracy had won. The bad thing with democracy is that it reduces everything to numbers such that even if the majority makes a bad decision, that decision still has to be carried.

I asked the barman, Ras Man U, to give us a round of real hard stuff and some fantakoko for Native Authority Mandela.

“I also want to taste the hot stuff on the rocks,” Native Authority Mandela protested.

Ras Man U brought us the heavy stuff. We sat sipping on our glasses, each one of us lost in one’s own world.

“But, I have always wondered why primary school enrolment is always lowest in Mangochi. What could be the reason?” Native Authority Mandela asked.

“How did you know that?”Sheikh Jean-Philippe inquired.

“My nephew works for the National Statistical Office in Zomba,” Native Authority Mandela said.

“It’s not just Mangochi. Low primary school enrolment is also common in Machinga, Balaka and Dedza,” I said.

“It’s because of fishing!” MG 66 answered confidently.

“Does fishing only take place in Mangochi? Why is primary school enrolment high in Salima, Nkhotakota , Nkhata Bay, Rumphi or Karonga?” I asked.

“Does it mean that people in Mangochi, Balaka, Mangochi, Machinga or Dedza were against President Bakili Muluzi’s introduction of free primary education?” Native Authority Mandela queried.

“Make primary and secondary school education compulsory!” Sheikh Jean-Philippe proposed.”

“How will compulsory primary and secondary education be implemented?” MG 66 asked

“Jail all parents who don’t send their children to school. Simple,” sheikh Jean-Philippe said.

“And who will look after the children when their parents are in jail?” MG 66 wondered.