They say you are what you wear. You want to know a man? Just look at their dressing: the belt, wrist watch and shoes. There you have it!
You want to know the Flames? Just peep into their Chiwembe Technical Centre wardrobe: Red and white, white and red, black and green, white and green etc. Free-style re-defined!
After being ‘AC Milan-ised’ or ‘Sunderland-ised’ in black and red strips in the first round, first leg 2-0 beating of Chad at home three weeks ago, the Flames were at it again yesterday in the 2015 Africa Cup of Nations qualifiers.
Word is that the Flames slipped into white stripped Atletico Madrid-like uniform in Chad.
The message was as bold as the red stripes: Malawi is so poor it cannot afford to dress its Flames in distinct black, red and green colours.
The other hidden message was that this country believes in importing just about everything: From tooth picks, to match sticks.
And oh! boy, in that Kamuzu Stadium match, the dream of exporting footballers to Europe came closer to reality as our players looked like Sulley Muntari or Michael Essien.
It is about dressing our boys in any cheap colour available on Carton Centre Shopping Mall shelves in Jo’burg, South Africa.
The excuse is that it costs much to have kit manufacturers combine more than two colours and that the closest to Malawi colours are red, white and black.
But why always the Flames and not the Mambas or Chipolopolo? Some 10 years of continued careless dressing renders this explanation an excuse.
If you are sending your child to Kamuzu Academy, better be prepared to buy their expensive, but quality uniform. Get that?
Before we enter competitions, we are supposed to mind how our players dress. Who is supposed to ensure that? Maybe FAM!
You can thus imagine how the African football family thinks about a team that changes uniform colours like boots.
Anyone heard that, first impression matters? Surprised that few Africa teams eye the Flames for sparring matches?
Yeah, we are what we wear: a team with so much promise, but one betrayed by limited ambition.