Akamwini’s cry: Why invest in vanity?
We, Sheikh Jean-Philippe LePoisson, SC (retired from retirement), Abiti Joyce Befu (MG 66), Native Authority Mandela, Innocett Mawayawaya, and I, have spent the past five months in the rural villages of Balaka, Ntcheu, Dedza, Lilongwe, and now we are in the states of Nkhata Bay and Mzimba in the Republic of Nyika, whose future currency, we are informed, will be called Kopala and will have the same value as the British Pound. So, one Nyika Kopala will be equivalent to MK800.
From our voyages of rediscovery and visits to these rural areas of this great federal republic, we recall a number of events, incidents, arguments, and challenges. We recall, for example, that a not-so-friendly argument erupted at Sabonabona, a drinking and lodging joint located at Dunduzu along the Mzuzu-Ekwendeni highway. We had gone there to celebrate New Year’s Day after spending time in the villages of Mopho Jere, Chizuzu, Mthakopoli, Chikomaniche, Manda, Enukweni and Ekwendeni. Previously we had been to Edingeni and Edundu, where we feted on mkontho and other life-giving foods.
“So, how will the so-called Republic of Nyika support such a strong currency?” Asked a young-looking man, whose accent did not sound like that of typical speaker of the national language of the Republic of Nyika.
“Currencies are a matter politics. There is no proven relationship between the value of a currency and the material, service or intellectual possession of a country,” Sheikh Jean-Philippe argued.
“There is! The stronger and bigger the economy, the stronger the currency,” the man retorted as the girl-looking woman, who accompanied the man looked at us lazily like a first lady witnessing her husband signing a visitor’s book. She donned a Chelsea T-Shirt and a tight short jeans skirt, which cartographed her body. The two who had been sharing drinks.
“Mon dieu!” Sheikh Jean-Philippe laughed, drawing the attention of the couple, “Look. The US and Chinese economies are the largest in the world, yet the British Pound is the strongest currency in the world. What does that say unto you, your excellency?”
“Point taken. Kwene, can the so-called Republic of Nyika stand on its own? It’s too small geographically and has no material resources worth talking about!”
“Bwana!” interjected Innocent Mawayawaya, who was relieved of his job at State House because the State discovered that he had cheated his way to claim that he hailed from Traditional Authority Chimaliro of Thyolo, the major criterion for being employed by the federal government these days.
“What?” the man challenged
“The territory of the Republic of Nyika’s is much larger than that of Burundi, Swaziland, Lesotho, Brunei, Singapore, Qatar and the Vatican. The Republic of Nyika has all the minerals, which the federal government has extracted into Account Number without giving back anything; not even a social responsibility project. Look at Mchenga. Look at Kaziwiziwi. Look at Kayelekera. Look at Chikangawa. What do you see what we all see?” Mawayawaya explained, passionately and slowly, like a Facebook campaign agent.
“Is the Vatican a country?” MG 66 asked, rather puzzled.
Native Authority Mandela laughed. Sheikh Jean-Philippe laughed. Innocett Mawayawaya laughed and I laughed. The Chelsea couple, too, laughed. We laughed.
“And what’s this mockery for? Because I am a woman?” MG 66, asked, releasing a quasi-smile grin that forewarned of retaliatory verbal missiles.
“We wanted that discussion to stop. Laughter diffuses tension and refocuses people’s energies from trite engagements to nation building. Don’t you agree? You are the mother and leader of this expedition,” I said cajolingly, diffusing MG 66’s anger.
We also recall that meeting at Kainga in Balaka when we met a selected group of men from that part of the State of Balaka to discuss with them how we, the exploited, never-appreciated, occupiers of the gutter rungs of federal Malawian society, could improve our lot without the assistance of the parasites that call themselves national leaders.
“You educated people always say we rural villagers don’t know the cause of our poverty. Nambo, we can authoritatively tell you today that Chikamwini should partly be blamed,” said one discussion participant, Che Sadulo.
“Chikamwini?” Sheikh Jean-Philippe asked.
“In Yao, Mang’anja and Chewa societies” the dominant form of marriage compels a man to join his wife and both live and build their lives in the woman’s homeland, but everything belongs to the wife” Native Authority Mandela said.
“Everything!” Jean-Philippe exclaimed.
“Everything!”Che Sadulo intoned, “the land belongs to the wife through inheritance; the house belongs to the wife because I am supposed to build one for my wife; the children belong to my wife and their uncle. We, the Akamwini, know that in all our toil in vain, for nothing is ours. Sometimes, men are literally chased after building decent homes only to see another sleep in their beds and houses. How would you feel yourselves…” Che Sadulo explained as his fellow participants nodded.
I sighed heavily.
