Anatchezera

Za chikondi ndi chibwenzi

Agogo,

Kodi chibwenzi ndi chikondi ndi zosiyana bwanji? Mwina funso limeneli likhoza kuoneka ngati lopanda nzeru koma kwa ine ndi lofunika kwambiri. Funso lina ndi loti kodi ngati mwamuna amakonda kulonjeza chibwenzi kapena wachikondi kuti adzakwatirana chonsecho mkazi samamulonjeza mwamuna wake, ndiye pamenepa mwamuna angathe kupitiriza chibwenzi kapena angomusiya?

LF,

 

Area 12, Lilongwe

Wokondeka LF,

Munthu utha kukhala ndi abwenzi ambirimbiri koma wachikondi mmodzi. Nthawi zambiri anthu satha kusiyanitsa pakati pa chikondi ndi chibwenzi. Chikondi ndi chozama kuposa chibwenzi; chikondi chimachoka pansi pa mtima ndipo nthawi zambiri anthu awiri akakondana maka pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi amagwirizana m’zambiri moti n’chifukwa chake mapeto ake amalolerana ndi kulumbira kuti adzakhala limodzi mpaka moyo wawo wonse m’banja, pamene chibwenzi mumatha kugwirizana pa zina koma kusiyana m’zambiri zochitika. N’chifukwa chake munthu utha kukhala ndi abwenzi ambiri ngakhale uli pabanja, monga ndanena kale, koma amene umatherana naye nkhazi zakukhosi ndi zakumphasa ndi mmodzi yekha, wachikondi wako. Funso lako lachiwiri yankho ndi loti pachikhalidwe chathu mwamuna ndiye amafunsira mkazi ndipo ndi iyeyo amene amauza mkazi za cholinga chake pachibwenzi chawocho. Akazi ambiri amakhala ndi manyazi kunena kuti alola chibwenzi chonsecho mkati mwa mtima wawo alola kale. Ndiye munthu wamwamuna uyenera kumvetsa ndi kufatsa; osapupuluma chifukwa ukhoza kutsekereza mafulufute kuuna poganiza kuti mkazi sakunena chilichonse. Pamene pali chikondi sipasowa, zochitika zimasonyeza zokha kuti apa pali chikondi ngakhale wina asanene.

 

Amandikonda koma ine ayi

Ndili ndi mwamuna amene akufuna akaonekere kwathu koma sindimamukonda kwambiri ngakhale kuti iyeyo amandikonda kwambiri. Ndiye akuti andikwatira zaka zinayi zikubwerazo. Pano ndakumana ndi wina koma akuti andikwatira zaka ziwiri zikubwera kutsogolo. Ndiye nditani, agogo?

LC,

 

Area 49, Lilongwe

Zikomo LC,

Mwana wanga, chimene ukufuna sindikuchidziwa. Iwe ukufuna kukwatiwa ndi mwamuna wotani? Wokukonda kapena amene akufuna ukwati pompanopompano ngakhale sakukonda? Vuto ndi chiyani ndi mwamuna amene ukuti amakukonda ndipo akufuna kudzamanga nawe banja zaka zinayi zikubwerazi? N’chifukwa chiyani udamulola poyamba ngati sumamukonda? Ndiye pano ukuti wapeza mwamuna wina amene akuti akukwatira zaka ziwiri zikubwerazi, makamaka ukufuna kuti ndikhuthandize chiyani pankhani imeneyi? Zonse zili ndi iwe mwini, koma chomwe ndingakulangize ndi choti si amuna onse amene amakhala ndi chikondi chenicheni. Wina atha kunena kuti tikwatirane lero ndi lero, koma mumtima mwake mulibe chikondi, pomwe wina anena kuti tikhale pachibwenzi zaka zinayi kenako tidzakwatirane pazifukwa zina ndi zina. Pa Chichewa pali mawu oti lero ndi lero linadetsa mnthengu, komanso ukasauka sunga khosi mkanda woyera udzavala. Enanso amati kuona maso a nkhono n’kudekha. Mawu onsewa akutiphunzitsa kuchita zinthu mofatsa kuti tione ubwino patsogolo, osati kuchita zinthu mwakhamanikhani. Tsono monga ndanena kale, zili ndi iwe mwini chifukwa ukudziwa chomwe ukufuna. Koma ndikanakhala ndili ine, ndikanamupatsa mpata mwamuna woti waonetsa chikondi chenicheni kwa ine ngakhale anene kuti atenga nthawi kuti andikwatire.  Chikondi chenicheni sichimaona nthawitu paja.

 

Akuti tizigonanabe

Moni agogo,

Dandaulo langa ndi loti ndinali pachibwenzi koma chatha mwenzi watha koma chodabwitsa ndi choti akuti tizichezabe, kutanthauza kuti tizigonana chonsecho wanena kuti chibwenzi chinatha. Agogo, pamenepa nditani?

Eunice,

Blantyre

 

Zikomo Eunice,

Ndiye kuti munkagonana muli pachibwenzi, eti? Usadabwe, umo ndi mmene zimakhalira, mwana wanga! Mwamuna ukamuvulira muli pachibwenzi nthawi zambiri chidwi chake pa iwe chimamuchoka chifukwa wakudziwa khalidwe lako. Apa akukuuza kuti muzigonanabe chifukwa wakutenga ngati choseweretsa chake basi. Ndakhala ndikunena patsamba lino kuti kukhala pachibwenzi sichitanthauza kuti muzigonana, ayi, koma achinyamata masiku ano kwakula n’kusamvera. Mumaganiza kuti mukakhala pachibwenzi basi mukhoza kumagonana, zotsatira zake ndi zimenezo—mwamuna amakuona ngati umangovulira aliyense ndipo mathero ake amangokusiya monga zakhaliramo. Tsono apa poti zada kale, ndi bwino uyambe moyo wina, wosinthika. Ukapeza chibwenzi china usunge mawu awa oti m’mpechepeche mwa njovu sapita kawiri. n

 

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