Big Brother, we’re watching

Jah people, Sunday is that rare moment when Africa Day marks the launch of the continental reality show—M-Net Big Brother Africa.

To some DStv viewers, this commences yet another action-packed season when contestants who cannot stand the heat, fun, drama, conspiracies and heartaches bow out with a tearful mouthful—Africa has spoken! Thank you, Africa!

Indeed, this is the game that chronically tempts the self-righteous to judge a collectivity of adventurous adults just having fun—that time prophets go deeper to divine who will bring the money home.

The showpiece can only enter the 10th year with fun for real.

When the game begins, Malawians will welcome a new cast with eyes on the type of housemate[s] selected to fly their flag for the next 91 days or less.

Will it be another Zein Dudha who will fail to sing Oh God Bless Malawi in Chichewa or a kissy fellow like Code who spent his first stint alternating between Uganda’s Maureen and a guitar? Will it be a second Hazel Warren who did little to dispel the myth that a real Malawian woman is only good at cooking or another forthright Mzamo who will leave religious leaders whining about nudity, violent language, booze and smoking?

What about a lookalike of Lomwe with Double Wowza and all that rap or his playmate Felicia Ng’oma whose ‘Chichewanese’ English was bewitched by Nigerian pidgin tongues? Will it be some more monotonous cousins worse than Nafe Kulemeka who did nothing much to write about and Wati who needed alcohol overdoses to open his mouth?

In the valley of wishes and prophecies, Big Brother knows no reason to surprise—despite his romance with FM101 Power DJs.

Malawians deserve a better envoy than sweet-speaking, fainthearted figureheads who cannot withstand the chase for money and harness their BBA popularity to become bigger and better.

With the multi-hundred dollar DStv subscription fees skyrocketing, it will abuse of George Orwell’s Ninteen Eighty Four catchphrase if the series returns without smarter Malawians than former finalists who leapt from fame only to fall back into their good ole nothingness.

Let the chase begin with no goners!