Change the logo of maize cobs, it is cursed!

Judge Mbadwa: This court has an interesting case in its hands. Civil society organisations want the People’s Demagogic Party (PDP) to change its party logo of corn cobs to something else.

Mr Mphatso Sixpence and Banidiki Kandaule representing CSOs think that is the rightful direction that the country should take.

I will ask either Sixpence or his colleague to convince the court why it should listen to them on this matter?

Sixpence: My Lord, we, the civil society have an obligation to ensure that parties are conforming to principles of a democratic system they are operating in and which they espoused when Nyasaland attained the multiparty system of government.

That is espoused in their insignia. For instance, as Tadeo Mliyenda will have it, the Male Chauvinist Pigs have the symbol of the cock. Whether they wake us up, that is a topic for another day.

Do we have to talk about the clasped Untied Front Demons and their insignia?

No, not even the lock that represents the party ya Amayi.

We are not members of PDP, but the party operates in our country and deals with our people; hence, everything that the party stands for eventually becomes the concern of the civil society.

Why do we want this party to change its logo of maize?

A logo, insignia or an emblem represents the values, beliefs and aspirations of the organisation using it.

The civil society submits that it is simplistic to convince us that PDP wants to run a government of the people by the people when its logo says it all that it is pursuing authority by maize for maize and by the corn.

Since the PDP came to power, everything is revolving around maize in the country.

All policy the PDP is pursuing is guided by maize.

Well, My Lord, we are not being superstitious but we believe the logo is the source of the problems besetting the party. It is not by mere coincidence, My Lord, that people are talking about how the PDP government has messed up the deal to purchase corn from Northern Rhodesia.

It is not by accident that procurement procedures are not followed in the quest to acquire maize because PDP and its officials salivate at the mere mention of corn that every caution is thrown to the wind.

The curse is in the logo! Are you surprised my Lord that during the reign of PDP the number of people suspected to be affected by hunger reached 6.5 million, according to its government estimates?

They had to justify their appetite for buying maize anyhow through the inflated estimates.

We believe the country cannot achieve economic emancipation if all it thinks about is maize and how to maximise from it.

The talk about diversification cannot be achieved as long as long as maize cobs remain on the logo of the party. Would they allow us to grow rice or potatoes?

Why can’t they put zicheche on the logo or perhaps fire since I understand it’s a party that is literary on fire?

Thank you My Lord.

Mbadwa: I have heard you Mr Sixpence. Does this court think that you have sufficient interest to demand PDP to change its logo?

Yes, the civil society has as long as its motive is derived from the understanding that the conduct of the party is injurious to the citizens.

How is it injurious? By maintaining the maize cobs on its logo, PDP is telling people that it has reduced its aspirations and ideals to maize; hence it can only transform itself into maize flour or bran.

But when you look at the shared vision of the PDP, it does not say it envisages a country in which all people are united by a common identity (of maize), a common purpose (of maize) and a common destiny (of maize), no.

If PDP wants to maintain is collective vision of seeing the country “resuming economic growth fast enough to bring about prosperity and reduce poverty significantly” then it should indeed replace the cobs logo because it is not only simplistic and puerile but jinxed, too.