Do age differences between spouses affect their marriage?

Some people believe that age cannot hinder them from getting married to their partner. To them, age is just a number. However, there are others who have divorced or failed to get married to their partners because of the large age gap that exists between them. CECILIA KAPALAMULA finds out more.

According to Dr. Randy Gombwa of Chitawira Private Hospital, “an age gap of up to five years does not make any difference because women attain both physical and mental maturity at a much younger age than men. But the most important thing to know is: where there is a large age difference, how old should the woman be if the couple would like to conceive? Women are limited when it comes to issues of childbearing, unlike men. The ideal childbearing age for women is between 24-35 years, if they are to avoid complications.

Gombwa advises that where a significant difference exists, couples have to be doubly sure that they both have the commitment it would take to overcome the huge obstacles they may encounter because of the differences in their ages.

Joseph Banda of Chilobwe has a different opinion. He says, sometimes people fail to initiate a relationship because of the vast age gap that exists between them, which is sad. He refers to this as ‘Looking into the flesh, rather than what God has planned for them.’

“Marriages are planned by God and they are supposed to fulfil His purpose. It is therefore sad when couples are God-fearing, compatible and have all the attributes to make a successful marriage choose to stay apart because of what society thinks of them. This usually happens when the man is younger,” says Banda.

Chimwemwe Kamwendo of Ndirande points out that, “the age differences are not as much of a problem when the couple is younger. It’s amazing how young love can seem to conquer all. But later on in life when the couple gets older, it becomes a problem because the older spouse eventually starts having health and energy problems that the younger spouse often finds too cumbersome to deal with.”

“But unfortunately, we are living in the days where divorce is the easiest way out for couples who feel their differences are too complex to deal with. For that reason, we have to be more cautious when we advise couples who are entering into marriage, especially when there is a large age difference. This will hopefully help avoid unnecessary divorces,” she says.

At the end of the day though, some might stick to the old saying ‘age is nothing but a number.’ What really matters is the love and commitment required to make things work, should issues arise due to an age gap between the two spouses.