Don’t have high hopes on running mate

Dear judge Mbadwa,

You know this week various presidential candidates, including, Mapuya of the Peoples Demagogic Party (PDP), will be presenting nomination papers. But it is not the nomination presentation ceremony that has me worried.

It is my being sidelined at this crucial time that is confusing me and the trauma I have experienced because of this is something that warrants the court’s redress.

My Lord, I was already assured that I will be Mapuya’s running mate and I made a mistake of telling a few people about this possibility.

Sadly though, I have heard through the grapevine that it will be someone else escorting Mapuya during nominations, a development some staunch members of the party have already corroborated.

My Lord, Mapuya has settled for some inconsequential person as his running mate, leaving me out of this race.

My Lord, I am aware the constitution of PDP mandates Mapuya to appoint a running mate of his choice and nowhere has it stated that he should report to the party executive or politburo to vet his choice.

True, he can choose a running mate from any village, any region and even from a rival party but raising hopes of innocent souls like us only to abandon us at the last minute should be regarded as a crime against humanity.

But My Lord, isn’t a gentlemen’s agreement some kind of a legal contract?

There was a gentleman’s agreement with Mapuya that I would be appointed his running mate in the forthcoming elections.

This is largely the reason that I found myself licking the president’s boots silly in the run up to the nomination presentations date. I even pledged to be a better deputy than Sauli who troubled Mapuya with his free mind during his tenure.

Following that promise of the position of running mate, I invested a lot in this and, therefore, want to be fully compensated.

Firstly, I divorced my village wife for some slay queen who carries herself with a swagger of a wife to the prospective Vice-President. Now the slay queen is behaving strangely and the last time I heard from her she was in a serious phone conversation with one of my enemies.

You are already aware that I burned bridges with my former party to join hands with Mapuya’s PDP and now that I have been dumped, how do you expect me to go back to the people I called names?

But that is not my biggest of worries. I took loans in hundreds of millions of kwacha from businesspersons of Asian origin with my running mate position as collateral, hoping that I would become an instant millionaire.

Now my creditors are asking difficult questions I cannot answer. What do I tell them?

I already have developed high blood pressure and my health is deteriorating because of what Mapuya has done to me.

I know there are many in my situation in Sauli Cloud’s party and Chipani Cha a Mayi.

My Lord, I want you to summon Mapuya and let him pay for his attitude of giving people false hopes regardless of the gentleman’s agreement.

Looking forward to your reply,

Kuli Kanthu.

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