How do we reclaim Blantyre?

I was born in Blantyre. I stay in Blantyre. I have stayed for most of my life in Blantyre. I am in my fifth decade now. Blantyre has changed. The Mudi River at least is not smelling as bad as it used to before we had a mayor. I do not know whether the mayor has applied some deodorant on this important river that describes Blantyre itself. Send me an email if you can, call me on the phone or if you see me walking in Chilomoni, let me know if in your opinion, Mudi is still smelly. It is possible Mudi is as smelly as it used to be, only that I am suffering from a disease they call, anosmia. The complete loss of smell is what is called anosmia (an-OHZ-me-uh). May be it is just the case that I have a problem. I can’t smell Mudi River after all!

Now, I have mentioned Chilomoni. This is an interesting area of Blantyre. If you take a minibus from Blantyre commercial business district going to Chilomoni, it can be an interesting ride for visitors. The minibus ‘conductor’ will ask: “Papolisi?” (Is there anyone who is dropping off at the Police.” If you are a visiting pick pocket in this minibus, it can be stressful to hear from a fellow passenger suggesting: “Tiyime papolisi a driver.” (Let us stop at the police station Mr driver).

While you are stressed out whether your fellow passengers have not connived to drop you off in the hands of the law, you could be even more confused if this is at night and you are a visitor. From the police, someone will ask: “Alipo otsika pamanda?” (Is there anyone who is dropping off at the grave yard? Now, if you had been sick for some time and you were not sure whether you were still alive or not, to find a group of people who seem to suggest that someone will be dropped off at the cemetery can be unsettling. Are they dropping me off for my burial or what?

Your didn’t drop off at the cemetery and so you continue. “Nanga pa abwannoni?” (Who is dropping off at the Bwannoni stage?) Ladies and gentlemen, Mr British High Commissioner, please forgive me, I do not know the English term for abwannoni. I also do not know whether you have these insects in London. But these are like locusts or grasshoppers which come out en masse at this bus stop.

Then you go on in the minibus. Now if you are visiting your relatives in Chilomoni and she said that she works in/at the market (pa msika), you are in for a shock. The minibus driver then asks: “Pageti?” (What about at the gate? Is there anyone dropping off? Now you are thinking my relative says he works in/at the market. So you decide that you will not drop off at the gate, because the next stage is pamsika, at the market. The problem is that if you are indeed going into the market in Chilomoni, the bus stop you should drop off is pageti (at the gate) and not pamsika (at the market). n