I bore him a son, but he dumped me, should I sue?

Dear BMW,

I met this guy and he treated me with respect and love. I fell for him and took pity on him when he told me he has two daughters and is dying for a son to keep his name. He feared having another baby with his wife because he strongly felt it would be another girl.

This man pleaded with me to bear him a boy. I don’t know whether it was out of love or stupidity, I fell pregnant and lo and behold, a bouncing baby boy it was.

But months down the line, I feel scammed. I believed in my heart of hearts that once the baby came along, he would leave his wife for me, or at least make us his priority. Koma kuti? He has abandoned me to raise our son alone while he moves from bars to night clubs, living his life to the fullest. He shows up occasionally, but not in the manner I anticipated.

Biggie, palinso chiyembekezo apa? I love him, but I feel this love is in vain. He chose me, I believe, because I have a son from a previous relationship. He was convinced I was the answer to his stupid prayers.

I need your help, should I sue him?

Love Lost (LL)

Via WhatsApp, Sigelege, Blantyre

Dearest LL,

I know you are confused; however your situation isn’t that confusing. It is clear as day and night that your-so-called boyfriend doesn’t want to marry you, nor does he want to be the father of your children. In fact, he does not want to be near you!

I don’t have to ask him this in person. His actions make it abundantly clear that he doesn’t love you.

What you and lots of other women often fail to internalise is that actions should speak for themselves, yet you folks get swept under the rug by a host of emotions. Mumatengeka ndi fungo ngati galu.

Women in situations such as yours are afraid to let go. Just like you. You cling to the same things you do as justifications as to why you should give him the benefit of the doubt.

Mumvekere: “We were best friends. He is successful. We have great sex etc”. Rubbish.

All of these are irrelevant to what he committed to do and that is to settle down and make you a priority.

Should you sue, you ask. First, be glad that this man showed you his true colours because akanakukwatira akanakuonetsa nyekhwe uyu. Secondly, yes, sue and teach the idiot a lesson. He must provide child support.

But next time you have a boyfriend, do me a favour: go slower, don’t get pregnant Amalawi tachuluka!

I know you have suffered, but try your luck with an honest man like Biggie.

Nane ndufuna kamwana kakazi.

Big Man Wamkulu NOTE: You can now send your problems to BMW via WhatsApp number: +265 888-209-027. No calls please!