Family

In sickness and in health

Most women are denied such care in sickness
Most women are denied such care in sickness

In as much as it sounds quite comforting to receive care from your loved one, most couples, in particular from a woman’s perspective, care from the opposite sex is usually scarce.

In our tradition, it is common for a wife and her relatives to care for her sick husband, but is usually abandoned when sick.

Most of the husband’s relatives too abandon their kin when sick. With little or no financial support, her situation worsens.

Mercy Chimsolo has her husband critically sick at Kamuzu Central Hospital (KCH). She claims to be nursing him alone without the support from her husband’s relatives.

“Since June last year when my husband got sick, none of his relatives has come with support. I have carried the burden all alone. Love from his relatives is a greater relief a sick man can get,” she said.

Community-based organisation (CBO) leader and psychologist Richard James says it is unfair for husbands to abandon their wives and for his relatives to abandon him when he is sick.

“Our love and support mean a lot. Usually, when a man abandons a sick wife, he gets away with it, but a woman would be chastised if she did. Both are cases that need to be dealt with seriously if we are to change mindsets,” he said.

A new study on livescience.com says the risk of divorce is high for married couples when the wife — but not the husband — becomes seriously ill.

In the study, researchers examined how marriages are affected by the onset of four serious illnesses: cancer, heart disease, lung disease and stroke. Overall, they found that 31 percent of marriages ended in divorce during the period of the study. In 15 percent of the cases, the wife had become sick.

“If women become ill, they are more likely to get divorced. The health consequences of divorce are well-known but few studies have examined the effect of health on the risk of divorce, especially among baby boomers.

“What sets this study apart from similar studies is that it examines risk factors in the 50 and older population. The divorce rate among this demographic has increased over the past two decades.

Study researcher Amelia Karraker of the University of Michigan Institute for Social Research said researchers did not have information on who initiated the divorces.

“When women fall ill, it could be that their husbands are not adequately fulfilling the role of caregiver. As a result, they are more likely to rely on friends and family members to care for them,” said Karraker.

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