Invest in GBV survivors’ healing

Alot of people regard the just-ended 16 Days of Activism against Gender Based Violence (GBV) as just a commemorative event.

Who can blame them when it takes one year to hear about this important issue which ought to be an everyday conversation in a country where one in five women and girls have experienced abuse in their lifetime?

While commemorating 16 days of activism against GBV, it is important to reflect on the plight of the many survivors left in the cold.

Of course, I am well aware of the many forms of GBV in Malawi, but I will focus on sexual violence as I have personally experienced and lived with the realities of being a survivor.

Researchers will present figures and numbers of individuals who have experienced sexual violence in their life and report on the percentage of people whose first experience of sex was rape or defilement.

However, these figures are not a true representation of the cases on the ground.

A lot of people, especially those that experienced this when it was a taboo to talk about such issues, do not report it.

The only time you would learn of how common such cases are is when you open up to a friend only to hear they have experienced it too.

Let me commend the government of Malawi and NGOs for their efforts in bringing justice to the victims as well as putting in place mechanisms for victims to report GBV.

However, I believe there is need for investment in healing of survivors. Go beyond just punishing offenders.

It is erroneously assumed that once the perpetrator has been arrested, tried and jailed, then justice has been served and everyone can just move on.

Unfortunately, this is where the real battle starts for the survivors, because rape leaves emotional scars.

Their plight it is more than what we see or hear. There are feelings and questions that survivors struggle with: Why did he choose me? What wrong did I do? What could I have done better to prevent this from happening? Was it my fault? Who is going to believe me if I speak out?

Sexual violence is a difficult one to heal from because the scars are not easily visible as the battle is in the mind.

Dr Denis Mukwege, a Congolese gynaecologist and Nobel Peace Prize winner, specialises in treating rape survivors.

He rightly captured the struggles when he said: “With other illnesses, you treat a patient and they get better and go home.

“You see their wounds healing, their situation improving from one day to another, but with psychological trauma, the process is painfully slow.”

A body, either male or female, is a person’s personal space and violating it is violating their core existence, killing their inner being, and leaving them exposed.

When you rape someone, you take away their dignity, rob them of their innocence, their right to pick and choose who to give their body to.

Now the pain of being humiliated, violated and robbed does not go away because the perpetrator is in jail.

The survivor is still out there facing the long and judgmental stares every day, with no chance to sit and talk with people who share their pain.

Survivors need professional psychological help to deal with their pain and navigate through their feelings.

For a long time, we have believed that time heals wounds and things will get better on their own, no wonder we have produced men and women who are wounded inside, people who struggle to trust and love others properly.

You cannot leave an open wound without treating it and expect it to heal on its own. That is suicidal.

I therefore implore the government and NGOs to go beyond encouraging reporting GBV cases and prosecution of perpetrators.

It is high time we invested in offering survivors professional counselling services and a safe space to talk about their experiences and maybe heal together.

As it is, victims feel like they are on their own, there isn’t a platform for survivors especially those in the remotest areas to find their healing, if at all it is possible.