My Diary

It is all your fault, Mr President

Dear Mr President

Before you held your presser on Thursday, to appraise the nation on your activities in New York for the UN General Assembly, our expectations were high.

We expected you to rise above our petty political hobbies and explain what the Sustainable Development Goals are all about and how we would circumnavigate the challenges that led Malawi to achieve only four of eight Millennium Development Goals.

We waited to hear you acknowledge that the International Monetary Fund (IMF) had given us a reality check by declaring that our Extended Credit Framework (ECF) was off-track, but that we were well-equipped to weather the storm. After all, we had mitigating factors, such as natural disasters, to explain our failures.

We had heard, Mr President, that you delivered a speech to rival any when you made Malawi’s commitment to deal with HIV and Aids. But making grand speeches at an international forum is the easier part; communicating it to a people who have heard it all before is a different cup of tea altogether. So, we wanted to hear from the horse’s mouth what it is that earned you so many plaudits.

We expected that, in between going through sumptuous three course dinners, you had learnt a thing or two, struck a deal or two, about how the country can mitigate climate change.

We wanted you to comment, not in belligerent, anti-colonial rhetoric that your brother was famed for, that you meant us well despite our petty comments about Malawi’s larger-than-life entourage to the UNGA.

Alas! The agenda was seized by trivia—I hope you remember that word because it still burns at the heart of university lecturers.

When you were elected president, most of us hoped you wouldn’t be your brother’s brother: less anger, less table thumping, less imaginary enemies. But how could we be so naïve! After all, you were cut from the same cloth!

Mr President, when your presidential secretary Gerald Viola, roused the rabble by fingering the media for alleged incorrect reporting about your UN trip, I hoped you would rise about such cheap bait and address the nation on substantive matters. How wrong we were once again!

I can understand your anger about why such ‘diabolical fiction’ about your entourage made its way into the national discourse. The media tried to tell the truth, Mr President, because no-one could believe that, as caring as you are, you could take along an entire metaphorical village—which Viola, either in a Freudian slip or total failure to grasp a figure of speech, said was from Thyolo—to the UN.

But you know, Mr President, information is only as good as the source or their intentions. We were stonewalled at every turn. We were either given wrong information—on purpose or otherwise—or dismissed out of hand. No-one would have written that you had a jet on standby or that you took along an entire village if the people entrusted with information made half an attempt as you did at the presser.

One other disturbing thing about the presser, Mr President, is that you spoke as if the nation should be eternally grateful to you for doing a thankless job. You did not speak like one of us. You spoke like a belligerent, reluctant consultant tasked with an impossible job.

Suggesting that public servants do not hurt you but the people if they strike for pay increase is political carelessness personified. Which people; are you not one of the people?

If you were one of us, you would not have been saying: “I don’t need your money.” That statement, Mr President, should have red lights flashing around it. Suppose, Mr President, the people were to say, “We don’t need you”, where would that place you?

It is political incorrectness to justify your actions on the hired jet by invoking the misdeeds of Kamuzu Banda. If you were one of us, you would have known that comparing yourself with Kamuzu Banda hardly puts a shine on your character as a man and leader. Banda lived in different era and Malawi was his piggybank. It was partly for that reason that he was bumped out of office.

And, oh, before I forget. That furniture you were banging is public property. Please don’t break it. Future presidents will need it. Which also reminds me, is your hand is okay after that table thumping? Because that, in a way, is also public property.

Lastly, but not least, please stop asking us to take the People’s Party to task about the sold jet. It is embarrassing, Mr President. You are the government now and you must find the answers for us.

Your abused citizen,

Chachacha Munthali

Related Articles

One Comment

  1. This fella is indeed cut from whole Bingu cloth. Zawo ndi zimodzi. Last time he looked up his family tree, a gorilla shat in his face! Mxii!!

Back to top button