Jealous: It’s not in the text messages

One moment you are happy with your partner and the next you are arguing over whose phone number appears more than once. Jealousy can break relationships. In this article, Cheu Mita explores what you can do to keep your jealous self at bay.

Are you the kind of woman who asks for your partners phone only to check who has been calling him, who he has been calling, who he has sent text messages to and what they were about?

Many women in the homes are doing this on a daily basis and sometimes get disappointed when they find that there is no message in the inbox or in the outbox because the man has become smarter.

Jealous can come in many forms. For instance, the media has been accusing singer Rihanna of trying to make Chris Brown jealous lately by posting risque pictures, but she’s not going to know if it’s getting to him now. She unfollowed him on Twitter.

According to sodahead.com, the unfollow be a subtle way of sticking the pin in deeper, or does it mean she’s moving on? Everyone has to make the decision of whether or not to stay Facebook friends or Twitter buddies after a breakup, and there are pros and cons to either side. If you stay friends, you have a chance to nurture the friendly side of the relationship. If you unfriend them, you don’t have to see that dreaded new relationship post. What route do you usually take? Did Rihanna do the right thing in finally cutting ties with her ex, Chris Brown?

Dr. Gail Saltz a psychiatrist with New York Presbyterian Hospital says jealousy is an emotion all of us experience at some point in our lives. This is completely normal. But we need to be able to control our green monsters, so they don’t harm our relationships.

She notes that people who feel secure and like themselves tend to be less jealous of others and less possessive of their partners, while those who have experienced abandonment or betrayal in their lives can become overwhelmed with jealousy.

Saltz says many women will try to prevent their husbands from seeing or talking to certain people.

“This is not only impossible, but it can also be smothering. Sadly, many women live in fear that their husbands will stray and feel threatened when he spends time with his guy friends. Some women are even jealous of their husbands’ jobs, because when they’re not at home they’re not spending time attending to them.”

She says that women can find out why they’re feeling jealous by uncovering where it came from. Whether it came from a dad leaving after divorce, or a partner cheating, you need to figure out the situation that led you to feel so insecure about any partner.

“Examine your self-confidence. If you don’t love yourself, how can you truly believe anyone else would love you?

“Stop enabling. If your partner is jealous, don’t allow him to control your behavior.

“Set fair ground rules. Everyone needs friends and interests outside her relationship. Discuss this openly and honestly with your partner and make some compromises about how much time you will spend with him,” adds Saltz.

She said doing these things will help you erase any doubts you may have and improve your relationship.