Letting visitors know it’s time to go

Relatives are an important part of our life and there is nothing more joyous when those relatives come to visit. However, when they over stay and start bringing inconveniences in the home, it becomes a problem. Just how do you let them know that it’s time to leave without ever seeming rude? Mwereti Kanjo sought some information on how to do this the right way.

Traditionally in Malawi, relatives show up without notice unlike elsewhere where they warn you before knocking at your door.

Just how do you have them out of the door without offending them?

Family expert, the Reverend Patrick Semphere, says culturally, we do not set cut and dry limits for visitors. You cannot ask them in the beginning how long they are staying.

Semphere said: “If a visitor overstays, then it is imperative that you politely indicate to them the challenges you are facing.

“If the wrong-doer is from my side, then I should be seen to initiate the corrective measures instead of defending the wrongs done.”

Joyce Phambala, a woman from Malawi’s commercial city, Blantyre, said the best that we can do in this situation is to drop silent hints that would not hurt anyone’s feelings. If simple hints like talking about going away or how someone else will be visiting soon and you need the space have failed to deliver the message, depending on the type of relationship that you have with the visitor, you can be bold and let them know. But be sure to give good enough reasons why you would like them to leave.

And then there are those that steal small things each time they leave. Most of the time it is not something of serious value but just the fact that they are taking something of yours without your permission is troubling

On this Semphere said: “If you have evidence that someone indeed steals things from your home, then you might as well bar them from visiting your home. Harsh as this may sound, the choice is between reporting him to the police or bring him from visiting”.