In May this year I attended a women leadership training that focused on personal and professional rebranding which was organised and facilitated by life coach Tamara Chirwa. It was such a refreshing and eye-opening training. She not only taught, but also challenged our thinking.
When I got the invite I almost excused myself from the training. I thought it was one of those trainings for women where topics are more or less like what we usually hear at bridal showers.
But this one was different. Of all the topics that she covered, my major take home message was that it is time for women to stop asking or simply wishing they did this or that. It is time to get up and do it. Surely, there is no one out there to hand you opportunities and indeed that dream job on a silver platter. You have to work for it and earn the recognition.
She reminded us of the everyday hardships women face at workplace and at home. When it comes to appointments, women are appointed based on achievements whereas men are appointed based on potential. This is unfair. But, I know gender activists are doing a tremendous job in fighting for gender equality. However, the bulk stops at the rest of us.
Well, I have noticed how oftentimes we women wait for things to happen even without us lifting a finger. We are sometimes disadvantaged not by men oppressing us but by us failing to read the situation properly. There are some of us who believe by virtue of being women we should get things on a silver platter or we should earn everybody’s sympathy. News flash, everyone has to eat their own sweat. I would hate it if women were promoted for the sake of being women and not because they are capable and are deserving of the position. We need to ask ourselves what we have done to earn that dream job or position before we start blaming our misfortunes on gender inequality.
No one is going to take us seriously if we do not have the qualifications that would enable us to get promoted. I am happy that there are several women who are upgrading themselves academically. That’s the way to go. Yes I know that women have since time immemorial been at a disadvantage but we also need to acknowledge the strides made since the days of our mothers and we need to take advantage of that. We cannot afford to fold our arms and wait for someone to make things happen for us we have to do it ourselves.
Flashing the gender card every time we are criticised only helps men to oppress us even more. The “are you doing this because I am a woman” mantra has to be dropped. It only help men label us as cry babies.
Most of us are yet to master the art of speaking our mind and expressing our feelings. Several times I have knocked on the boss’s door and tell them how I feel about the salary I am getting or even the resources I am given to work with. It works. Sometimes we assume the bosses know when maybe they don’t. Stop assuming, go and find out. You never know, maybe it was just an oversight.
There is no one out there who will come to our rescue if we are not willing to be rescued. They say action speaks louder than words. We have been speaking for quite some time, let us act, maybe that way things will change for us. n
