Dear Judge Mbadwa,
My application to withdraw from the presidential race is already on your desk and that is something I want your esteemed court to look into.
My Lord, the reasons for my withdrawal are consistent with the constitutional right that a person of my stature is accorded. I have a right to contest an election and a right to avoid facing embarrassment; hence, I can withdraw anytime and anyhow!
Need I explain why I have endorsed Lazaro’s party after my previous one-night stand with Sauli’s transforming group? Well, my flirting with Sauli was a tactical move to raise my price on the matrimonial market this election season, My Lord.
It is called strategy and it had nothing to do with unfounded claims that I wanted to put my son as the bargain point and even if that were true; what could be wrong with such a decision?
This party is mine and I founded it alone after being frustrated under the leadership of Moya whose demise accorded me an opportunity to rule Nyasaland for two years. The records are there for all to see in case there are those who want to know how I performed those years.
I can do anything I want with this party and nobody; I repeat, nobody can stop me! My supporters will have to dance to my sad tunes again just as they did when I got engaged to Sauli just for hours.
My Lord, those who have time to delve into scripture will realise that my decision call time on my political career now has not come from the blues.
I belong to the sons of Issachar and these are men who understood the times and knew what Israel should do.
I really understand the times well and I know what is good for Nyasaland as my time is long gone. At least I have explained my motivation for clapping hands for Lazaro and his cockerel team.
My Lord, forgive my digressing, but this letter was intended to ask your court to order the Nyasaland Electoral Commission to refund me the K2 million I deposited as a requirement for my candidature.
Now that I have withdrawn my candidature, it will only be prudent that the commission refunds me the money.
I want to use the money to compensate Jeremani Journey who cartooned himself during presidential running-mate debates on my behalf and is now left in the cold.
My Lord, this is only a fair request from an honest former politician.
I will close this letter with a Psalm I so much like: Lemekeza Yehova Moyo wanga ndi zonse za mkati mwanga. (Psalm 103.1 Bless the Lord, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name.)