Drive things you can change
A few years ago, I went into the office of one of the big figures in this country and found on his desk the serenity prayer.
This is a prayer that is believed to have originally been written by Reinhold Niebuhr and reads: “O God and Heavenly Father, grant to us the serenity of mind to accept that which cannot be changed, courage to change that which can be changed, and wisdom to know the one from the other through Jesus Christ, our Lord, Amen.”
Of course the popular version these days has been modified a bit. I want us to focus on the words “grant to us the serenity of mind to accept that which cannot be changed, courage to change that which can be changed.”
Most of the people who are successful practice this prayer a lot, either knowingly or unknowingly. Let us start with the first part of the above section of the prayer.
We need to first accept the things that we cannot change in life. If you are short, you can’t change that. If you are very tall, you can’t change that.
You cannot change your tribe. You cannot change your family. If you failed an exam, you cannot change that. All such and other things that we cannot change, we need to accept.
Even if you went for a job interview, for a job you badly wanted and needed and you get the result that you haven’t been picked, you need to accept that situation.
As they say “Acceptance is the first step to healing/recovery”. Let us first accept that which we cannot change. If we fall sick, we first accept that we are sick, then we will seek medical help and get healed.
Now there is the more crucial second part: We need the “courage to change that which can be changed”, emphasis on courage.
A lot of people waste time and effort on things they can’t change instead of building their courage to focus their energies and time on the plenty things they can do and change. The world is so big and full of many options. You failed to become a medical doctor, you can end up the best marketer. You cannot change the fact that you got ‘weeded’ from medical school, but you can now choose a new path of life and become the best and even bigger than the best doctor. It’s all down to your mindset. How you use your thinking time and thinking opportunity which I always argue is for free!
Every year, every month and every day, you will be faced with many things and opportunities. They come in two halves. The first half is those things you cannot do or change. Leave them. Please waste no time on them. Then you have a whole half of the world of things that you can change and do. Put all your energy, effort and time on those things.
Just by being able to separate these, you have achieved half the journey to success. That is why the prayer ends by asking for the grace to know the difference between the things you can change and things that you cannot change.
For proof or confirmation, look around the successful people around you. You will find that they don’t waste time with things that they cannot change. Even when they see others flourishing elsewhere, they are not shaken because they focus on their game. To do this you need a number of principles. First you need to have self-confidence and self-belief.
Believe in yourself and be at home with yourself. Believe that you know what you are doing and that you are a unique person. Secondly, you need the discipline to stick to your path and to stay in your lane.
This sounds easy but it is actually very difficult and yet so critical. Thirdly, you need the resolve and determination. Decide and stick in there to the end.
Good luck as you rise and shine by ignoring the things that you cannot change and instead, focusing on things that you can change
