I envy you Peter

Over the past couple of years, I have observed that President Peter Mutharika’s most used Chichewa word is ‘kwambiiiriiii’ and for an old and reserved fella like him, I wondered how he might have proposed Madame Getrude Hendrina Maseko. As I sipped a cold beer at the weekend at peace with myself, I imagined the jazz should have gone something like this: ‘Getrude umvetsetse kwambiriii, ine ndakukonda kwambiri, moti ndikakuwona ndimakhala wa chimwemwe kwambiri.’

Well, the common biblical saying is clear that he who finds a wife, finds a good thing and I need not say that the APM has found someone who will be a source of inspiration. Any wonder that he now spots a fancy haircut? I guess the wedding was also timely considering the winter season.

I imagined how the good ‘ole man could have felt the past two chilly nights. No more playing golf [sleeping with the hands clutched between the thighs]. Your Excellency. Now you have someone to warm you up. I can only envy you because my neighbour’s maid Patuma, who used to sneak to my pad in the night was recently dismissed for pinching her mistress’ underwear.

And considering APM’s usual slip of the tongue, like when he addressed Chief Justice Anastasia Msosa as ‘Msowoya’, I feared that during the matrimony vows, he would slip up and say ‘I Arthur Peter Mutharika do take you Getrude Hendrina Maseko ‘not’ to be my lawfully wedded wife.’ To the sigh of my relief, he got it right.

Now, my hope is that the First Lady will inspire the big man to fulfil the pledges he made during campaign and the one that comes to the sports fraternity’s mind is the construction of a new stadium in Blantyre. We would also appreciate if mum would sweet-talk him into increasing the sponsorship of the regional football leagues; otherwise, I wish the First Couple well. By the way, is your daughter Moyenda still around? Just curious.

Lastly, congratulations to the first lady Sports Minister Grace ‘Obama’ Chiumia. I should confess that in my first interview that I had with her, I was swayed by her sweet voice, but I lost interest when she told me her marital status that she is a ‘Mrs’. Anyway, lots of expectation from you. Welcome aboard ‘Obama’. AOB: I thought FAM would have just invited home-bound Spain to play Flames on July 6. Go Ivory Coast! Go Ghana! Go Nigeria! Go Africa Go! Glory be to God. Uloliwe..Uloliwe wayidudula hii…Neng’asiza [The train is pushing].