I told you handlers can become ticks

,

(Lazaro has applied to court to sanction firing of some of his aides)

Court clerk: All silence! The court of his Lordship Judge Mbadwa is now in session.

Judge Mbadwa: This tribunal is once again hearing an application from the leader of Tokha Alliance, his Excellency Lazaro. The court invites counsel for Lazaro, Tito Mavalidwe to convince the court why Lazaro’s application should be entertained?

Mavalidwe: My Lord, we want to make amendments to an earlier application we made in this court. I told this court that it is the conviction of Lazaro that some people he hired are bent on damaging his reputation as a broom that was meant to sweep clean the dirt of corruption and inefficiency that had accumulated during the reign of Mapuya.

My Lord, Lazaro wanted this court to now fire all presidential handlers for promoting their interests and creating a perception that Lazaro is not in control.

I have read the report that State Palace has over-hired and that its wage bill has skyrocketed by over 300 percent. My lord, this is a very sad development and my client has already instituted a commission of inquiry to look into this serious matter.

My lord, I want, therefore, to categorically state here that my client is equally shocked with the revelations of increased wage bill as he did not sanction any hiring.

My lord, you know that Lazaro is not responsible for hiring people at the Nyasaland State Palace. There is an independent office that is responsible for that.

My lord, you know that Lazaro is dealing with a far much bigger constituency; that of Nyasaland and is not responsible for the day to day handling of matters at the State Palace.

Perhaps one might ask whether he was not surprised that the number of presidential aides was growing by the day. The answer to that is that Lazaro thought the new faces he was seeing daily belonged to relations of employees at the State Palace who would routinely visit.

My lord, presidential handlers want to give an impression that my client is setting a very bad example on austerity measures he lies to preach about because he is failing to initiate charity at home.

But my client has always been serious about improving the welfare of Nyasas and has not been hypocritical on the agenda he has set, only that his handlers want to give him a bad name.

My lord, you remember of reports, yet to be substantiated though, that some estate managers or aides allegedly at the State Palace sexed figures for whatsoever reasons in the procurement of goods and services while others were allegedly conniving to fleece Nyasaland Oil Company out of its gasoline money, something Lazaro never sanctioned.

My lord, all presidential handlers have to go because they have been responsible for my client’s flip-flopping on various critical issues, including on appointments and policy.

My lord, the employment fiasco is the last straw that broke the camel’s back.

These handlers, my lord, are not interested in advancing the Tokha Alliance or (Tokha Alliance are Liars) agenda because they want to make hay while the sun shines. My lord, people who are competing for the attention of Lazaro are going an extra mile sugarcoating self-serving decisions as if they would serve the interests of the citizens.

It has come to the attention of my client that these handlers, including some ministers, are serving their own interests.

Lazaro believes this court can be moved to fire people who have misinterpreted his servant leadership into a parochial agenda.

My client Lazaro believes he was hoodwinked into hiring these graduates of the People’s Demagogic Party (PDP) School of theft and fraud. My Lord, Lazaro cannot allow some people who are already captured by various people of influence to confine his presidency as well and let him dance to their sad tunes. I rest my case.

Mbadwa: It is strange that your client, Lazaro, is complaining now when he should have conducted due diligence in the hiring process to ensure that only those who can embrace the concept of true servant leadership find themselves close to him. We will adjourn till the same time next week when we will make a preliminary ruling on whether the application can be entertained.n

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