Men don’t talk? No!

There is a growing perception that when men are faced with any challenge, they do not readily open up to share what is eating their mind.

This, in turn, had led to high numbers of suicides or continuously living in deep depression among the menfolk.

But on Friday, men were presented with a rare opportunity and a platform to open up on issues that have time and again provided them with psychological hindrance be it financial, relationship or professional courtesy of a men’s conference organised by Castel Malawi Limited.

In a fashion that has rarely been seen, men opened up on their innermost fears and shared experiences on topical issues. They also counselled each other and shared tips on how they can safeguard their mental state in their social setups.

During one of the plenary sessions, one of the participants Mathambo Lowole spoke against the tendency among men of mocking each other while reflecting on real issues, which he said has a huge impact on one’s mental status.

“These are issues that we sometimes take lightly as we chat.

“But the banter that reflects on one’s financial status, physical being and family is very damaging mentally. It may pass as a mere joke, but when one goes home, they are thinking of what was said to them and it leaves a lasting impact,” he said.

One of the facilitators, Khama Chinseu from the Art of Wellness, said the informal nature of the platform helped the participants to open up, which was the objective of the event.

“The best stories come out when there is a bit of happiness. People opened up because of the manner the platform is structured. It is a social gathering which is not formal,” he said.

Chinseu said men are going through a lot of pressure in terms of their lifestyle, a thing worsened by the social media reflections. He said it is crucial that men rise from all such challenges and take their responsibilities as family and social leaders.

He said: “We reflected on a number of issues on sex, relationships and finances. Men do not readily talk, but what we did tonight is to encourage them to open up and bring out their issues without fear that anyone will laugh or ridicule them.”

Castel Malawi brands manager Pheona Nyambo said the event was premised on the growth in numbers of suicide cases in the country. She said they have positioned the platform to target men as records show they are leading in terms of suicide.

She said: “We feel and believe that the upbringing that our men have was told not to express their feelings.You can agree with me that in our society we hear a lot of phrases such as ‘mwamuna salira’ [Men do not cry]. This is the thinking that men grow up with and they affect them.

“Every time they are about to express themselves they are held back because of this thinking and this has an effect on the whole society. As a business we will not sit there and watch this societal decay and do nothing.”

Nyambo said they believe the platform will help alleviate the emotional status of men.

She said there are no structured social platforms where men can interact and share issues unlike women and that the men’s conference creates a platform where men can talk without being judged.

“We want to bring out the strength in our men in our societies. As a brand this is an issue that is of concern to us. This is a matter that could have been resolved before it got to this level. It is not being weak to share your feelings when you have a problem,” said Nyambo.

The men’s conference took place simultaneously in Blantyre, Lilongwe and Mzuzu under the common theme revealing the strong men in tough times. This is the second year that Castel Malawi has organised the events.