Ng’oma has more than dressing to sort

11 July 2024

Dear Diary,

The weather at the Munda wa Chitedze Farm shows clear signs of hotter times ahead.

You see, the biting cold has come with its coughs. Dry coughs that are so irritating. Then, there are the headaches and pains that are coming with it! Don’t mention the running nose.

Thanks that the health officials have given assurance that this is just as normal as the sun setting only to rise again.

As I write, the conferences and talk shows have come back. Just yesterday, President Lazarus Chakwera was at one of these talk shows on farming. You see what, those of us at the Munda wa Chitedze Farm laugh our lungs out loud when people think boardrooms can solve the food and agriculture crisis we are going through. Not at all.

Get your hands dirty and forget the hustle and bustle of your city.

Then, as I write a digital leadership programme convened by Reverend Zacc Kawalala is closing its first day in Lilongwe. To say the least, much has been said at the forum. Unfortunately, it is just the usual jazz we are getting from such forums.

Look, one of the most intelligent things from the forum is what Kawalala said, that the biggest bottleneck for mindset change to become a reality is Capital Hill. In his words, the country can change the regime, but somehow, Capital Hill captures the executive.

He gave an example of foreign world familiarisation tours the ministers, deputy ministers and even board members get when a new party gets to power. So, this allowance culture runs in the civil service blood.

But then, much as Kawalala was right on all this, it was my view from the Munda wa Chitedze Farm that much as we may be a prayerful nation, holding prayers guised as leadership forums is the mindset change we need. By the way, delegates to the forum had to pay. So, this was also more of a business for the organisers.

From afar, I hear some relatives of former opposition leader Gwanda Chakuamba say they are still waiting for the government to build a proper chiliza for the one-time Malawi Congress Party leader who boasted that he could never use a Mercedes Benz as Minister of Agriculture during the Bingu wa Mutharika regime. At the time, Chakuamba was adamant that he could only use a BMW in spite of critics questioning the opulence.

That reminds me, Bingu had the iron fist to kick out whoever thought they were growing bigger than his system. At some point, he booted out Ken Zikhale Ng’oma who was then State House Chief of Staff. From the streets, word had it that Zikhale-Ng’oma had grown so many wings that he took himself as Prime Minister.

The temptation, Dear Diary, could be to remind you that Zikhale-Ng’oma was a thriving entertainment promoter. Remember the Kwasakwasa events in  Lunzu under the Zikhale Promotions affair? No, we should not talk about that. Neither should we talk about his holding a high position for Lunzu vendors. People grow. And they grow big!

Look, Zikhale-Ng’oma has that ability to attract so much attention from people. He is one of that kind that even where 1 000 people are gathered, he will still stand out.

Dear Diary, we all have seen that overnight, Ng’oma has revolutnarised his dressing. His wardrobe has gone a complete overhaul overnight. You can actually see him wearing slim fit suits and even T-shirts with a Russian fur cap with ear flaps to prove his innocence against the fashion police.

One would wish Zikhale- Ng’oma could take his fashion revolution to the ministry he heads. He has been at the helm since January 31 2023 but the departments under him have been some of the worst performers in the civil service at the moment.

Never before have we seen the Department of Immigration and Citizenship Services issuing travel documents on A4 paper size as has been under Zikhale-Ng’oma.

You see, never before have Immigration staff threatened to close down airports and entry points calling for the head of their director general Charles Kalumo. We were only saved from that shame when the courts ‘fired’ Kalumo, saying his appointment was unconstitutional.

Honourable Zikhale-Ng’oma, now that you have sorted out your dressing, please do the same with your ministry so that we may sleep in peace, only in peace here at Chitedze Farm.