Positive life after being abandoned while pregnant

After being diagnosed with HIV, Catherine Soko was assured by her husband that he would never leave her.

However, her husband did not live up to his word. He abandoned her two months later.

“I was pregnant and frequently suffered from malaria. When we went for HIV testing and counselling (HTC) as a couple, I was told of my HIV positive status.

“While there, my husband promised to stand by me, only to abandon me two months later,” she says.

Soko, 41, who comes from Thondo Village in Senior Chief Mwadzama in Nkhotakota, is a farmer.

A mother of three boys and three girls, Soko thinks she contracted HIV from her first husband who died of tuberculosis (TB) after serving a two-year jail sentence at Nkhotakota Prison.

“Most of the times my first husband used to come home late at night while drunk.

“He died on August 3 2006 and I remarried in 2008 to the man who abandoned me,” says Soko.

The woman says life has not been easy after the separation because the man renders no support to the child. Worse still, her relatives and some communities started discriminating against her for disclosing her health status.

“However, my children accepted the situation and they look after me although it was sad news to them.

“Some people, including my relatives started segregating me by thinking that they could contract HIV through brushing shoulders with me or touching my clothes and beddings,” says Soko.

According to her, she has learnt that one becomes free once he or she has disclosed HIV status. She adds: “Kupezeka ndi HIV simathero a moyo.”

Soko says she has chosen her second born daughter, Zione Phiri, as her guardian who always reminds her to take ARVs and other drugs as well as some manual tasks.

Phiri agrees that some of her relatives do not show any interest towards Soko’s welfare because of her HIV status.

“At first, we were not even allowed to play with our colleagues, since they thought we could transmit HIV to them. We were also isolated and discriminated against even at school by fellow learners,” says Phiri.

After her desertion, nurses comforted and encouraged Soko that it is possible to give birth to an HIV negative child.

Soko is happy that her child, who was born after her abandonment, is HIV negative after she followed necessary prevention of mother to child transmission (PMTCT) instructions.

“The baby was born on December 13 2008 and has undergone HIV testing three times and she was clinically confirmed HIV negative when she was 18 months old,” she says.

Support for Service Delivery and Integration (SSDI) clinical coordinator Lucy Khongonyowa says the child is HIV negative because her mother followed what she was advised during counselling sessions.

“It is one of the successful PMTCT stories in Nkhotakota and we have succeeded because of good coordination, among SSDI, public health personnel and other stakeholders,” says Khongonyowa.

SSDI is championing the project with financial support from United States Agency for International Development (USaid).

USaid has been providing funds for implementation of interventions in maternal and child health, HIV and Aids, malaria, nutrition, water, sanitation and hygiene.

Soko joined Kalungama Core Group in the area of Senior Chief Mwadzama where she found solace. The group has a responsibility of advocating for safe motherhood, HIV and Aids, child development, gender equality and other related issues.

Being one of the people living positively, she was entrusted with the responsibility of encouraging community members to go for HTC and telling them how they can live positively.

“The majority of people are not willing to go for HTC,” says Soko.

She further says she talks of her status even at public meetings for others to learn. For instance, she recalls that on March 8 2009 in Lilongwe, she gave a testimony at a meeting that then vice-president Joyce Banda presided at.

“My testimony attracted the interest of many people because they did not expect that an HIV positive woman like me could give birth to an HIV negative child.

“Generously, delegates at the meeting contributed funds which I used for purchasing iron sheets for my uncompleted house I was dwelling in with my family,” she says.

Soko says she does not like begging in her life. She says she got financial support from Kalungama core group which she used to open a vegetable garden.

“It is my desire to have farm machinery for irrigation farming to boost my agri-business so that I should be supplying farm produce to public institutions like secondary schools and health facilities,” she says.