Should I fall pregnant for a married man?

Dear Jayne C,

I am a college dropout aged 23 and have been in a relationship with a married man for three years. I love his money and all his possessions. Actually, I cannot let go of him because I want all of him and his wealth to myself one day. But the man is an idiot. He has several other girlfriends apart from me and the official wife. We have been fighting a lot about his cheating habits and I want him to stop this behaviour.

Two weeks ago, we fought so much that he wanted to leave me. So I have hatched a plan to get pregnant for him. The plan is that once I fall pregnant, he will never leave me again. He will be trapped as he will need to support his kid. Lately, I have been declining to use condoms because I want him to ejaculate inside me. But I think he has sensed danger and he hardly touches me.

Should I leave him? I am confused; help, please!

Jayne C, Zomba, via WhatsApp.

Dear Jayne C,

You are not alone in facing this predicament, as many other young women out there are dealing with similar situations. Some blessers do not want to commit and they might ask if they should be allowed to impregnate women to sire kids for them.

My advice would be to enjoy dating them, benefit from their financial support, and use your charm to mesmerise them with your sexual skills. However, it is crucial not to stoop to the level of having children with them to con money out of a married man. Regardless of how good you are in bed or how much he claims to love you, crossing that line can lead to a life of misery for you, while he portrays himself as the innocent victim. It’s a path you should avoid at all costs.

Malawian women sometimes fall into the trap of relying on men for their entire lives. Education is the key to independence and overcoming these challenges. Instead of dropping out, consider exploring opportunities to run your own business and be self-sufficient. Don’t buy into the notion that women are the weaker sex and need to be taken care of. Stand on your own and leave this man to his wife.

Getting pregnant with a married man will likely result in being forever branded as his mistress, while he escapes any consequences. I know women who hoped that having a child with a married man would lead to marriage, but they are still single and struggling with multiple children from different men. It’s a cycle you don’t want to get trapped in.

Keep in mind that your co-girlfriends might have similar thoughts, and the courts could face difficulty determining which child should be recognised as legitimate. This path will only lead to disappointment and hardship. If you’re considering this as a solution, think twice, as you’ll end up with nothing but regret and difficulties during childbirth and beyond.

Let go of this foolishness and focus on building a better future for yourself. Conning him will never earn you a respected place in his life, and your child will not be able to call him daddy. While his wife enjoys his comforts, you and your child will be left to struggle.

Please reconsider your choices.

Big Man Wamkulu