Should I send her nudes?

Biggie,

Hope you are doing great as I am. Mine is a small problem and I know you can help a brother.

You know at my work place there is this girl I very much fancy. To tell you that she is beautiful, Biggie, that would be a blatant lie. She is simply stunningly gorgeous and dazzlingly elegant.

When she smiles at me, my heart just melts the way a snail dissolves when you put salt on it.

The other day, I was coming from the loo and I forgot to zip up. She was looking at my fry and I asked her: “Did you see the Prado in the garage?” She just smiled and looked away. I just don’t know how I felt.

Now, much as I want to ask her out, I am afraid she may say no. That I say because I know she has a boyfriend.

I am not one to give up. Should I send her pictures of my member? I know I have one that she would totally enjoy. Help me, please.

Big Prado

Hello Big Prado,

Dude, you must be one real lucky guy. Look, you asked her if she had seen your ‘Prado’ and she just smiled and walked away! Had you said that to one of the girls I was with in college, I can bet every tambala she could have told you in the face: “No I just saw your Mini Cooper.”

And that would be a day when she is in a better mood. No, she couldn’t have slapped you the way you are thinking right now. I note you are quite dumb to think of sending nudes to a crush. She could have slapped you with a lawsuit.

For that matter, she would have several charges against you. The first would be sexual harassment. Here, she would also split the charge into two. For a fact, you asking her if she had seen your ‘Prado’ is sexual harassment. Let me put it to you: You harassed her verbally with your sexual innuendos.

On the other hand, to send her nudes is sexual harassment. Simply that. Why would someone, unless they are a sexual pervert like you, send nude pictures to a crush?

On the other hand, we have in this country the Electronic Transactions Act or whatever they call it in full. Under this law, sending unsolicited nudes is criminal, they call it cyber-bullying. Get that in your head.

Oh, by the way, I like your language but get well soon.

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