In this era when so much is getting lost in modernity; when many wives would gladly choose a bar of chocolate and a good book in bed, over sex with their husbands, is there need to push for enjoyment enhancers such as waist beads anymore? YVONNIE SUNDU explores.
In many cultures of Malawi – with ladies for example, calling them network – these waist beads have been held in high esteem for generations when it comes to what defines attractiveness and sexiness in a woman.
Some women abandoned them years ago but other wives still use them in bed religiously. And now, many young ladies are slowly going back to the times of their grandmothers, as they are buying waist beads. Beautiful curves accentuated with beads are now in fashion.
Actually, beads are an essential element of the marriage counselling nowadays.
It is no surprise to see a young woman wearing beads with her pair of jeans as this is seen as the in thing today.
Nowadays, there is the ornamental single string of beads or gold chain that is worn daily. And others move around with eight or more strings of beads around their waist. This many say is a quest to solidify their marriages and make sexual experiences ever more interesting.
Walking into the Lilongwe main market popularly known as Mpanipani, one can notice beads of different colours on sale. In different sizes and colours like green, blue, red, white and pink they have them all.
“Network ilipo asisi.” “Aunt mikandatu” that’s how they beckon almost every woman coming through their stalls, including the writer.
“Times are changing. Our fore parents were not wrong in using mikanda [waist beads] because as you can see, after years of abandoning this tradition, we have realised its importance and are now back to it. That only shows how important these tiny but important things are in marriages.
“Women from different churches, highly educated in fact bosses in big organisations come here and buy for themselves or young women who are about to go into marriage. The idea is to make men find these things in the home and not with the other women,” explain the women one after another upon enquiring what these beads are for.
“Some men see these from the women they meet at bars and at times they come here and buy for their wives; such men truly love their wives,” says another.
But why call waist beads network?
“The beads arouse the men during foreplay. They bring in that special energy that transfers from the man to the woman, and there comes the network that connects the two…,” they said.
Marriage counsellor and T/A Kachindamoto says the resurfacing of waist beads shows the evolving of the Malawi culture.
“It was a must for women in the past to wear waist beads for sexual purposes. And the resurfacing of the tradition shows how important culture is as it defines a person. Every Malawian woman has to have mikanda, it shows the difference between a man and a woman,” stated Kachindamoto, adding that all young women about to get married must have beads.
According to the chief, each colour has a meaning and it is important that the today woman knows this.
“Red connotes that the woman is in her monthly period, yellow means I am almost done with the period, white means safe and ready, and black means I do not want to have sex tonight. Colours such as blue and green also signals that the woman is ready for the man anytime. Women must know about this.
“Again, waist beads are supposed to be kept under clothes and not what is happening now. They are meant for the woman’s husband alone and not the rest of the world to see. Only in cases of cultural events can a woman be allowed to wear beads on the waist and on top of her clothes. And if you look critically as such beads, there are different from the ones a woman wears in the bedroom for her husband,” Kachindamoto explained.
Some men also share the chief’s view on the waist beads while others do not. However, they were not willing to be revealed despite passionately commenting on the topic.
“My wife wears them and I love them so much. They make your woman feel and look more beautiful, waist beads are stunningly seductive along the curves of her body against the glow of her skin,” said a man who refused to be named.
Another man said: “I do not see the value waist beads add to ones sexual life. Remember, sex is in the mind as such, with or without enhancements like beads, I enjoy sex and I can challenge other men on this.”
All over Africa waist beads are common in other places they are called jigida a name that even vendors in Malawi are familiar with.
