43 “No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. 44 Each tree is recognised by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thorn bushes or grapes from briers. 45 A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.—Luke 6:43-45
As a young mother, I was fortunate to stumble onto Dr. James Dobson’s parenting philosophy that emphasises structured discipline, clear boundaries and a strong spiritual foundation as keys to raising children who are confident, responsible and morally grounded. These are keys that I held onto and even passed on to generations of mothers younger than me.
This week, my first-born son turned 51 years. When I congratulated him for reaching this milestone, he responded by congratulating me for being a good mother for 51 years! Well, glory to our good Lord because it never occurred to me that I am growing together with my children.
However, my son also sent me a small video that resonates with the Beatitudes of Jesus quoted in the book of Luke. The Muslim sheikh in the video advises people to “never say anything bad or gossip about someone in front of a glass of water. He further says do not say anything bad about yourself in front of the glass or food.
He concludes that as you drink the water or eat the food, what you eat becomes a part of you; you are eating/drinking negative energy into your body.
As the video proceeds, I recalled Dr. Dobson’s words in a book titled Raising Positive Children and The Strong-Willed Child.
One of the conclusions in the book was that you become heroes to your children. Even when I was a young mother, I liked that: Hero to my children! A far-fetched dream, but I achieved it. I was so happy to learn that my children (all boys) can have all the heroes they watch in films/movies, but Big Mama Jay is Hero Number One!
Dobson’s philosophy and the sheikh’s advice are hard to maintain, but they are worth trying. In his book, Dr. Dobson shares tips on parenting as follows:
(a) Godly teaching and spiritual priority: Dobson stresses that leading children to Jesus is the highest priority, framing parenting as a calling to train them “wisely” (Proverbs 22:6).
(b) Authoritative, not authoritarian: He advocates for being firm and consistent, but also compassionate, modelling the behaviour you want your children to emulate.
(c) Strong family structure: Dobson values a stable, loving home environment with clear roles and expectations, which he believes fosters security and self-esteem.
(d) Understanding child development: He recognises that children, even strong-willed ones, have natural drives for independence and self-control and encourages parents to channel these into positive outcomes. (Copied on August 5 2026 from https://internet-files.info/textbook-ga-24-2-06/dr-james-dobson-the-strong-willed-child.)
The wisdom from these books caused me to be cautious about what I say to or about my children. I encourage other parents to do the same (being cautious); likewise, I discourage negative words spoken either about my children (big men, but still my children) or about their children. This week, I joked with my librarian whose name is Meghan that she is a princess (because of the Duchess of Essex). She then told me of how she calls her son the dark prince. I begged her to stop calling him that. I advised her to call him something positive. It is the same way in our communities past parents would name their child Mabvuto or Tsokalida and other names professing the perilous times parents were going through at the time of the children’s births
