EveryWoman

Are they out to get us?

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 In the past, I have written here about revenge porn. I targeted women for the mere reason that it is mainly their nudes that go viral in case a relationship falls out. Some stupid men tend to release sex or nude photographs or videos of their ex-lovers to get back at them when dumped. Some equally stupid women fall in this trap over and over again for lack of judgement. Whatever the case, revenge porn is still rampant and something serious needs to be done about it.

I have often wondered whether women were overly flexible about taking pictures of their nudes and sending them out to either lovers of would-be lovers. My quest for answers led to three possible scenarios.

Firstly, I have some across free givers. These will target men to either be in a relationship with or for financial gains. To get their attention or entice them, they send still nudes or videos of themselves, offering the target ‘goodies’ when interested. I guess they believe that the fastest way to a man’s heart or pocket is through her bottom; hence, the free ‘gift’. It’s sell-imposed bondage if you ask me and degrading.

The second category is those that get convinced by their partners to either make an intimate video together. Some are asked to send their nudes to lovers as a demonstration of their love. Foolishly, the exchange is done and some men share with friends who in turn share the world. Others will share once the girl dumps them. In other scenarios, these maybe be discovered by a wife or an irate lover in future and shared. Others are yet shared by gadget repairers who stumble upon nudes.

The third category is where some film women secretly. They record intimate moments mostly for sinister reasons. And these reasons are for more than just sharing, but for blackmail or commercialisation. And because others willingly show themselves in compromised positions, some men think every woman is gullible.

Women, it is time we asked ourselves whether men are out there to get us. Whoever said love was blind must have experienced every inch of this passionate animal. This is a period when all senses cease to operate and love becomes our eyes, ears, noses, skin and all. It makes us do despicable acts, including standing before the camera naked to send to lovers or admirers. We do not think for a single moment about the repercussions of these actions.

Whether persuaded or not, nudes must stop. We cannot blame others when they go viral. We cannot claim shame when we were wholly involved and participated. Apart from the third category mentioned here, we have control of our bodies and we should draw the line. Enough nudes have gone round to change our mindsets. Are we waiting for our own to go viral before we stop? Are we still that trusting?

We will never control what the other person does with what we share. But we can start by controlling what we share.

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