Most of the times, women are caught in sex or relationship scandals out of desperation for financial help. There are reasons some women opt for a married man, sell sex or cling to a two-timing boyfriend for financial security. Some will even bear children for uncommitted men for a mere financial obligation. Many more have stuck to abusive partners just because he provides a roof over their heads and he is their meal ticket. They fight each other over a man. This is the reason girls are encouraged to stay in school and persue it to the very end to attain independence and avoid the examples cited above.
I learnt a great lesson recently when I visited a village in the outskirts of Zomba City. A group of women decided to do something about their wanting economic stance through village savings and loans. Most are doing small business and acquiring assets such as livestock, bicycles and building houses. Upon inquiring deeper, I found that most of them are single mothers who openly claim they want to take a break from relationships. With their newly-found financial freedom, a man is the last thing on their minds. They want to concentrate on what they are doing and may re-consider in the near future.
I was impressed because not many women think like they do. Marriages are lauded as accomplishments and I believe it is this reason many mindsets are clouded. Relationships are good and the support of a loving spouse is commendable. But when relationships come under duress or societal pressure, women tend to stop thinking or attain an income with the belief that the man should take over their problems.
Trust me, these Zomba women have had their fair share of bad experiences for them to arrive at the decision they have. These reasons are deeply personal, but most of the time it takes an experience to arrive at a certain decision. They have children, a clear indication that they have tasted relationships. We cannot conclude their relationships failed, but we should respect their effort to re-discover themselves through incomes to improve their livelihoods.
Women, if you want to look good and live the life of luxury, try getting involved in your well-being to avoid begging. Men will take advantage of ailing mindsets to abuse you financially, emotionally, physically and psychologically. Look good through personal initiatives and he should step in to enhance that look. That way, you would have branded yourself in a particular way and own it. If he builds and owns the make-over project, he will want to run it a certain way and use it against you someday. It will be that very thing that falls first if you separate.
Borrow a leaf from the Zomba women who are done with kneeling and serving men who are caught up with other things leaving them lonely in marriages or partnerships. A man will always respect that woman that toils and hustles to make a living or contributes to the household. Stop folding those arms and wait to be served. Serve and save yourselves.
