Does fighting her stop him?

Rarely do worshippers witness fights in prayer houses, so, I can only imagine how the drama unfolded in a church at Madisi in Dowa recently when a wife decided to fight for her marriage during a holy mass on a Sunday morning.

I am certain, though, that it will take some time for faithful at the church to get over the comedy in which the incensed wife decided to beat the cheating out of the woman as she was standing on a queue to partake of the Holy Communion.

Quite some show; a demonstration of strong will on the part of the wife, who will do anything doable to chase away marriage vultures, although her action, for me, raises the question of whether in the end she has managed to win back her husband after the public display of his supposed dishonesty.

Many a time, when a husband cheats, the wife—who understandably feels betrayed and angry—resorts to dealing with the mistress through either verbal or physical attacks, but to what extent can blows save a marriage?

For one, there is that whole element of embarrassment the family has to put up with which sometimes puts more strain on an already turbulent marriage.

Then there is the mistress, who sometimes feels dignified with the wife’s recognition that she is a threat to her marriage. That tag may be deemed as humiliating for others, but in some cases it is a celebrated accolade for some mistresses, who after the public humiliation, will most probably engage another gear to demonstrate that while the husband’s ‘owner’ may be holding on to a marriage certificate, and has the physical strength to beat her, she is still the frontrunner as far as the man’s love or attention is concerned.

And, if truth be told, seldom do the husband snatchers steal the men. Often times, the men literally beg to be snatched—they go in search of the women and do everything possible to woo them into their lives—but a resentful wife rarely considers this hard fact.

Not that any of this is commendable, but blaming and attacking a woman involved with one’s husband is hardly the best remedy for saving a marriage. And although women have employed the beating tactic for ages, hasn’t it proven to be an ineffectual remedy?

In most cases, the beating even draws unnecessary sympathy to the wrong party as in some cases the husband will even nurse the wounds inflicted on the other woman, while the State will descend on the wife with an assault case which goes in favour of the mistress. In the end, the wife ends up paying damages for the woman who has already wrecked her home.

Whereas fighting for a marriage is not a bad idea in itself, the use of force is a terrible move that occasionally hands the mistress victory on a silver platter.