The feminine nature is to feel loved and taken care of. It is no wonder many women, once in a relationship or married, neglect or throw away their own lives to concentrate on the relationship. They feel indebted for the many kind gestures and want to focus on taking care of the man. If they are children, the woman believes her life has to stop in ensuring everyone is well taken care of.
The working class or business women will stop altogether or go slow, leaning on his financial muscle to carry everyone on board. This is acceptable and has worked for many people. However, for some, it has brought bitter lessons because in everything, they should be pros and cons.
Just because others are doing it and have succeeded doesn’t meant it works for everyone. Don’t rush to make decisions before consulting each other to determine whether the two of you are on the same page.
There was one woman, the breadwinner, caring for husband and child. Years later, she decided to quit her job because the husband was now employed and felt she felt was indebted to her. But sometimes love is never predicted, they fell out and after he moved out, she was stuck, unable to fend for herself.
Another left her job to commit to her family life as a housewife. Later, the husband started looking at his life from an individual point of view. She was supposed to fix her own car, refuel it, pay for her make overs and decided his commitment was only on food, housing and bills. That was quite a dilemma and her pain was evident.
Meanwhile, while women focus on relationships, family and children, men live their lives as usual, progressing along the way. They support their families, but never disturb interactions with friends, investing on their social capital. They don’t hide in cocoons. Some women always rush home to prepare the home and refuse to attend work-related events or hang out with friends because ‘they families need them’.
This is enviable and encouraging. But remember, those children will grow, you will age or simply grow out of any family obligations. What legacy do you want to live behind? It is all worth it while the men progress? Why not move together as a couple, taking turns on who stays home while the other goes to further their studies, attend refresher courses, attends events or even do it together? There will always be someone to watch over the home and children while we take a few hours, days and weeks off to self-progress. Love yourself to not want to neglect yourself for others. Happy International Women’s Day.
