At 11, Blantyre-based Monica suspected that she was gay. She liked girls more than men. But she was not sure. She did not tell her parents about this.
“I did not immediately tell my parents because it was more like a process.
“They knew after sometime because I was trying to figure myself out. Fortunately, after informing them, they did not chase me out of their house,” she said.
Monica said her parents knew about her condition when she was in secondary school and they reacted in the way she never expected.
“They called and asked me about whether I was indeed lesbian and I admitted.
“But they did not chase me out. Of course some people were asking me about it and I was admitting to some, but denying to others. I moved out because I wanted my own space and privacy,” she said.
However, Monica disclosed that much as she was lucky with her parents, it was not the same with one of her lesbian friends.
When she told her parents that she was lesbian, they thought it was the influence of evil spirits and that action needed to be taken.
“They took her to many places, including churches, to pray for her. She was traumatised and psychologically affected,” said Monica.
Security
According to Monica, life is not easy for a lesbian who not only hides from the shame of the public, but also from security personnel who claim to be enforcing the law.
Under sections 153 and 156 of the Penal Code, homosexuality is against the law and attracts a punishment of up to 14 years in prison.
But in 2012, the government, through then Attorney General and Minister of Justice Ralph Kasambara, in the Joyce Banda administration, announced that the country had suspended same-sex laws until Malawians, through Parliament, make a decision on whether to criminalise same-sex relationships or not.
However, the moratorium seems not working as Monica said they are always being harassed.
She said: “Our community [lesbians and gays] are being threatened of arrest now and again. So to say that the laws were suspended is not true.
“Even when we are harassed by people in public places, police just look at us, that is, if we are lucky and not arrested.”
Job opportunity
Monica said lesbians are not in the job searching order because they are not given any opportunity.
She said this is because many employers look beyond educational qualification.
“You can have good qualifications, but the moment they know that you are lesbian, they do not employ you.
“Sometimes they may not want to show [that they are not interested] by giving excuses that do not make sense. Even some non-governmental organisations do not assist because not every NGO sympathises with us,” she said.
Hospital
When they get sick after contracting a sexually transmitted disease (STD), lesbians face tough times in hospitals.
“When you explain that you have sores in the anus, instead of assisting you, they start gossiping among health workers. That is why many of our colleagues stopped visiting some hospitals.
“So, what we do is that when our colleagues are sick, we send them to doctors that are sympathetic to us to avoid such humiliation and rejection,” said Monica.
Church
Lesbians want to be attending church services. After all, humankind was created by God and there is freedom of worship.
But Monica said it is difficult for them to go to church, especially if one is known to be lesbian.
“This other day, I entered a church while a pastor was preaching. When he saw me, he changed the subject and started talking about homosexuality. Everyone looked at me,” she said.
Access to accommodation
Monica also says finding a house for rent has been tough for lesbians. She said you would find a house for rent just like anyone, but things go sour when it is established that you are lesbian.
“When some landlords know that you are lesbian, they chase you out because they think that you are a bad person.
“They do not care whether you are capable of paying rent or not,” she said.
What commentators say
Centre for the Development of People (Cedep) executive director Gift Trapence admitted that lesbians and gays face such discriminations which should not be condoned in a democratic country.
He said: “The LGBTI+ [Lesbians, Gays, Bisexual, Transgender, Intersex and Queer] have the right to access all services, including health. But it is a challenge for them.
“As a society, we should promote respect, equal treatment and professionalism in our hospitals, workplaces, and other public institutions.
Regardless of differing personal, cultural, or religious beliefs, everyone should have access to essential services and have equal opportunity to earn a living.”
The human rights activist added that discrimination of any kind is prohibited by the country’s laws, as such; healthcare workers should welcome anyone to access health services regardless of one’s sexual orientation.
The Reverend Cliff Nyekanyeka from Religious Leaders Network for Choice said every person is protected by the Constitution which provides for non-discrimination.
He said whether you are male, female, homosexual or of different tribe, you are all created in the image of God.
Nyekanyeka said the country’s laws do not criminalise sexual orientation, but same sex relationships.
He said: “In churches, there are three ways how homosexuals are treated. Some accept them, but pray for them hoping that they will change. Others accept them, but are told not to marry among themselves while others, especially in Europe, accept them as they are.
“It is sad that some health workers refuse to assist homosexuals because they are there to treat, not judge them. We are all equal in the eyes of God.”
