From fisi to anti-fisi

Fisi—a traditional practice where a surrogate man is hired to impregnate the wife of an impotent husband—is one deadly practice in these times of HIV and Aids.

Children, and more of them, are, especially in rural areas, considered a sign of wealth and, even divinely, blessings from God.

That is why when a couple weds and a year passes without a sign of pregnancy, hell breaks loose. They get ridiculed.

A man, instantly, gets showered with insulting names, among others, like gojo and wogwa mu mpapaya—all of which carrying a deriding connotation of ‘a man who cannot impregnate a woman.’

To escape from such, couples arrange for another man, an outsider, in most cases, a friend to the husband, to be coming into the house, mostly in the dead of the night, to be having sex with the wife until she falls pregnant. It is very secretive: in fact, it is the couple and the outsider, the fisi, who knows the arrangement.

Apart from such arrangement by couples, in some cases, the newly-wed are always put under the watchful eye of elders and marriage counsellors.

As time passes, without any sign of pregnancy, the couple is called before the elders and marriage counsellors to find out if there is any biological problem within the family that is making it impossible for the couple to bear children.

If it is assumed that the man is impotent, the elders arrange for a fisi. Again, the arrangement is secret.

Khembo Manda from Katsotso Village, Group Village Head (GVH)Kabulika I in Traditional Authority (T/A) Kachindamoto in Dedza, is one of the people whom fellow villagers have been hiring as a fisi.

Manda says he has been to several households; hired to impregnate women of troubled husbands.

He adds that out of several houses he has been hired, he only has the knowledge of one family which, today, has a baby boy. He is not sure of the other households, though.

“I was one of the people entrusted to help couples to have children by having sex with their wives. I started this practice when I was 20 years old and that was before I got married. At that time, it was fun and some people were applauding me for it,” said Manda, now in his early 40s.

But how does it start?

“What happened was that the man would discuss with his wife of their difficulties in having a child and they would come up with a name of a close friend who would accept their proposal and keep a secret. That’s how I was being approached to sleep with their wives.”

When indulging in the fisi act, Manda says he could, often, think of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) but such thoughts, he adds, could shrink at the thought of ‘the pleasures of lovemaking’.

He did not stop even after marrying.

“My wife had no knowledge of what I was doing. She was, however, cautioned by people of my involvement in this practice and she was even advised on how to catch me in the act if she doubted. But when she asked me, I used to deny,” says Manda.

Explains Manda’s wife, Dina: “I had been hearing such stories about his involvement in the fisi practice. But when I confronted him, he would refuse any allegation. I knew that he was being dishonest as I was leading a miserable life, sleeping on an empty stomach. He would sleep elsewhere leaving me alone with kids,” she says.

“However, I had no evidence of his cheating but, I could tell from his actions that he had multiple sexual partners,” she says.

Today, the two have four children. And Manda says he quit the practice after participating in Stepping Stones training by the Coalition of Women Living with HIV and AIDS (Cowlha).

He says, through Stepping Stones training, he was moved and got convinced that being a fisi was putting lives of so many people at a high risk of contracting HIV.

“While I was practising fisi, I felt good as I was enjoying myself moving from one house to another. But after the learning sessions with Cowlha through Stepping Stones, I decided to stop,” he says adding: “I saw that I could end up contracting HIV if I continued.”

After quitting, he confessed to his wife.

“I am really grateful to Stepping Stones. My husband is now able to provide me with anything and I am also able to give him whatever he wants from me. I trust his movements nowadays,” she says.

Among other things, Manda and his wife have been to Voluntary Counselling and Testing (VCT) twice to have their blood tested for HIV.

“Fortunately, we are both HIV negative,” he says: “My marriage has been a peaceful one since that time.”

Manda is now a pastor at his Church: “I was even offered a position at church after they saw how I have transformed over the years.”

Not only that.

Manda also confesses that he has now become a voice of speaking out against fisi.

“I have now learnt that having children is a will of God. When a couple does not have a child, we should not ridicule and insult them. Let us just accept them and pray for them. I have learnt that the reason couples are pushed into fisi is because we do not accept them in society. I am now preaching love,” he says.

Fisi is one of the harmful traditional practices which stakeholders in the fight against HIV have identified and condemned as being one of the catalysts for HIV spread.

Cowlha with financial support from UN Trust Fund to End Violence against Women (UNTF) is implementing a project titled Leveraging Positive Action towards Reducing Violence against Women Living with HIV.

The project is being implemented in the districts of Lilongwe, Ntchisi, Salima, Dedza, Nkhata Bay, Mzimba, Karonga, Rumphi, Blantyre, Balaka, Thyolo and Nsanje.

Project Coordinator Steven Iphani says the project seeks to reduce intimate partner violence (IPV) by, among others, ensuring men’s active participation in interventions aimed at eliminating gender-based violence.

“The main strategy of engaging men is through the use of the Stepping Stones approach that allows men and women to dialogue and communicate on issues of relevance to intimate partner violence,” he says.